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Walsingham

Weird awesome or weird scary?

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Every Steven Seagal movie ever made.

 

http://www.everystevenseagalmovie.com/

 

For example:

 

My Giant

(1998)

 

"Steven Seagal plays himself in a movie about Billy Crystal being a bad father and having a tall friend."

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I didn't know that movie was a thing, so I had assumed the blog was probably just a bunch of photoshopped movie posters with Steven Seagal substituted in for various other actors (e.g. Steven Seagal as the title character in Home Alone). But no, it's the real thing. Huh.

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L I E S T R O N G
L I V E W R O N G

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I'm embarrassed to say I've seen all his movies. Every single one. :(

 

You right that is embarrassing, and you quite comfortable acknowledging it in a public forum. Have you no shame

 

:biggrin:


"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

 

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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I'm embarrassed to say I've seen all his movies. Every single one. :(

 

How many hours is that? I bet you could have learned French in the same time.

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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How many hours is that? I bet you could have learned French in the same time.

 

I didn't learn French, but what I did learn is you can combine the movie titles and make out a Steven Seagal movie plot. Such as the example below:

 

My giant the Glimmer Man, on deadly ground, under siege, mercenary for justice and out for justice, out of reach, above the law, marked for death, hard to kill, today you die... Clementine.

Edited by Hiro Protagonist
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He's done straight to video exclusively after 2002 or so. All those movies are really really crappy.


The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

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So no change from his theatrical releases, then.

 

Hm, John Travolta would have been cool in Under Siege


Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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That COPS show of his that was on A&E was hilarious.


You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want.

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How many hours is that? I bet you could have learned French in the same time.

 

I didn't learn French, but what I did learn is you can combine the movie titles and make out a Steven Seagal movie plot. Such as the example below:

 

My giant the Glimmer Man, on deadly ground, under siege, mercenary for justice and out for justice, out of reach, above the law, marked for death, hard to kill, today you die... Clementine.

 

 

Should put that in quote marks under a picture of some bloke looking heroic.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Some bloke? You just have to zoom close enough into a portrait of Seagal to make sure his double chin and hairline are cropped from the final image.


L I E S T R O N G
L I V E W R O N G

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:skeptical:

 

~~~~

 

In other news:

 

_72639908_72639907.jpg


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Well, _I_ thought that picture was weird. And scary/awesome.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I don't know what I see there.


"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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I've been slowly working my way through the Seagal blog, it is fantastic.  I pretty much saw all of them until he started in with the direct to video ones.

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In line with topic theme:

 

Richard Burton talks about alcoholism. I dare you to watch it through in one go.

 


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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