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The Funny Things Thread.

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ROFL etc.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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This video has circulated on Facebook in Sweden recently:

 


"Well, overkill is my middle name. And my last name. And all of my other names as well!"

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Worst starwars themed media since that advert with Yoda in it.

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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1451948_236011636579852_1376252416_n.jpg

 

And splitting logs with a shotgun.

 

arpXGM7_460sa.gif

 

 

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I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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I want to see that as a spell in PE! Particle FX-guys at Obsidian, get to work! :)


*** "The words of someone who feels ever more the ent among saplings when playing CRPGs" ***

 

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Overheard at work this morning:

 

IT Gent - What are your spec's?

Colleague - Erm...bi-focals...why?

 

Cracked me up.

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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts

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1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully
in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two" and "Keep
away from children." --Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support
group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey


4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a
desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At
the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." --Jeff
Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving
an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry


6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should
treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,
they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,
and the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a
temp."
--Bob Ettinger


7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when her parents took her out
in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying
to teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study:
"Duh."
--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway
through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow
learner."
--Lynda Montgomery


10) "I think I know how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New
York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't
cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni


11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead." --Johnny Carson


12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez


13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida , but they turned
sixty and that's the law." --Jerry Seinfeld


14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of
fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to
tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson


15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the
same."
--Oscar Wilde


16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of
Congress. But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain


17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student! At
least they can find Afghanistan ." --A. Whitney Brown


18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give
you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of
that!'" --Dave Barry


19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease"
was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased


20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have
another beer." -- W. C. Fields

Edited by Raithe

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should

treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,

they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay,

and the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a

temp."

--Bob Ettinger

 

 

 

I believe I already discussed how I think being fired is like being dumped. This merely addresses it from the other direction.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Guys if you enjoy cute dog videos you need to watch this and read the history underneath the video :cat:

 

http://za.news.yahoo.com/video/german-shepherd-caught-red-nosed-103322010.html

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"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

 

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Guys if you enjoy cute dog videos you need to watch this and read the history underneath the video :cat:

 

http://za.news.yahoo.com/video/german-shepherd-caught-red-nosed-103322010.html

That video looks a bit staged, if you ask me.  No dog would calmly sit there with such a thing over her head when it was so easily gotten off, unless she was told to.

That said, I did see a version of what I think was the same dog... in which she had her head legitimately stuck in a box, and the poor thing bolting off across the house in terror (only to land in the back yard swimming pool--not very funny at all).  So far I haven't been able to re-locate the link, but the clip was part of a video montage.  Maybe this family wanted to recreate the incident in a less dangerous way.

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