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The Funny Things Thread.

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I have about 6 swords in my room and I know how to use them.. I think they are gonna be the ones praying.

I don't have any swords, but I do have a flanged mace.  I'm not exactly an expert, nor even trained, but I can swing it (it's surprisingly easy to wield) and I can guarantee that whatever body part it hits will shatter.

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Glass bottles, hammers, knives, pianowire, bow and arrows, noxious gas exhaust, screwdrivers, monkeywrenches. There's probably more that I'm not thinking about now.


Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

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I have stashes of particulate sprays about the house.

 

Anyone comes in here and I will smash the tops off and spam them out like I was Relic games, and they were a poorly thought through unit. Unless an intruder has a filter mask and goggles they are going to swiftly depart, hacking their lungs up.

 

Failing that I bought a crowbar last christmas. I like to think I know the tropes when it comes to basic weapons.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I have a wife to set upon them, thus protecting me, the dog and perhaps the children.

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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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I have about 6 swords in my room and I know how to use them.. I think they are gonna be the ones praying.

 

Yeah, meele weapons are highly effective against firearms, thats why SWAT use Katanas and swords when they storm buildings. 

 

Wait....

 

I use the best of both worlds for personal protection against nightly intruders, a large caliber rifle loaded with expanding hunting bullets with a 50cm bayonet mounted at the muzzle. Half rifle half spear. 

Edited by Woldan

I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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Because most houses have rooms and corridors that are the perfect size to use a rifle without any problems... That's not exactly good for CQB is it?


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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I'm not living in a rabbit burrow. As always, you have to know what you are doing, its not very hard to move around with a rifle if you know how to move with it.  And we're talking about a rifle thats a tad longer than 1 meter, as long as the shotguns and AR's Police and SWAT use in CQB.

 

I think it would be a good idea to continue this discussion in the firearms thread. 

Edited by Woldan

I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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As the resident military aviation dork, I happened across something rather interesting. A comic wherein various military aircraft are anthropomorphised into young ladies in high school called "Flight Highschool". It is a Korean "Manhwa," so no need reading it assbackwards right-to-left. 

 

GfPZ7YC.png

 

For those who don't get the joke, the E-8 JSTARS is a battle-management aircraft with an incredibly powerful Synthetic Aperture Radar that does for ground targets what AWACS does for targets in the air (in other words, it's the plane that tells ground-attack aircraft: "Yo dawg, there's a Motor Rifle Division moving in from that direction, go bust 'em.")

 

As for the GAU-8, see this: 

Edited by Agiel
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Quote
"Turned wrong way round, the relentless unforeseen was what we schoolchildren studied as 'History,' harmless history, where everything unexpected in its own time is chronicled on the page as inevitable. The terror of the unforeseen is what the science of history hides, turning a disaster into an epic.”

 

-Philip Roth, The Plot Against America

 

Quote
"Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them."

 

-James Fallows

 

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I have about 6 swords in my room and I know how to use them.. I think they are gonna be the ones praying.

 

Yeah, meele weapons are highly effective against firearms, thats why SWAT use Katanas and swords when they storm buildings. 

 

Wait....

 

I use the best of both worlds for personal protection against nightly intruders, a large caliber rifle loaded with expanding hunting bullets with a 50cm bayonet mounted at the muzzle. Half rifle half spear. 

 

 

I live in a "dangerous" neigbourhood.. and I've never even had a hint of trouble.. and no one here robs a house with gun - Gorgon managed to scare 2 junkies away with a broom, that should tell you all you need to know.

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Fortune favors the bald.

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That Gorgon must be a fierce broom-wielder? 


"Take your child murderin' god and shove his him up his own ass."-Volorun

 

"...the vote of a black redhead disabled homosexual transsexual Jew should probably be worth the same as at least a hundred white heterosexual Christians."-Rostere

 

"i can think of many women i would gladly sleep with, but not a single one that i would want as a girlfriend/wife... neither real nor fictional."-teknoman2

 

"I'm all for killing dogs in film." - algroth

 

"Iselmyr is the one who did GOMAD... Aloth is lactose intolerant" -ShadySands

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That comic post has t be the most 'in-character' thing for Agiel to have posted, or indeed anyone else, ever.

 

My sense of humour can oscillate weirdly. But I found it funny that a linked video from the GAU-8 video mentioned HEAT rounds in the top five worst weapons ever fielded, that should be banned. Good ****ing luck, 'Truthloader'. It makes me amused to see people wasting everyone's time trying to ban things that are not only a military necessity, but also surprisingly easy to build, and no worse than a myriad other ways of clocking out. Because such campaigns, having no practical point, can logically only be narcissism. And I laugh at narcissists.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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LPOTY of the GOTY:

 


You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want.

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I live in a "dangerous" neigbourhood.. and I've never even had a hint of trouble.. and no one here robs a house with gun - Gorgon managed to scare 2 junkies away with a broom, that should tell you all you need to know.

Then better hope that you'll never be the target of a really dangerous burglar or burglars. I like being prepared though, totally beats hoping in my book.

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I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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I live in a "dangerous" neigbourhood.. and I've never even had a hint of trouble.. and no one here robs a house with gun - Gorgon managed to scare 2 junkies away with a broom, that should tell you all you need to know.

Then better hope that you'll never be the target of a really dangerous burglar or burglars. I like being prepared though, totally beats hoping in my book.

 

 

I'd be interested to see what the statistics are on how many people are victims of a home invasion and would have been able to prevent it if armed with a gun.  I mean, sure, it may make you feel better, but if the odds are the same as getting hit by lightning, I'm not going to walk around wearing a large lightning deflection rod on my head just in case.  

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All hail Agiel, a Hero, a Legend. You have persuaded me to leave in a more flashing manner. There, considering how my "existence" here is obstructing the point of this forum, I will  remove myself from it. Have a nice eternity.


Lawful evil banite  The Morality troll from the god of Prejudice

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Not quite as amusing as his Batman or Lopan takes.. but still some entertaining..

 

http://youtu.be/O2S0R0WIN40


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Heh, so they took a jokey internet thing, and made it the "Breaking Bad Alternate Ending..."

 

http://youtu.be/9kZivVxB3vU

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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tumblr_mvust7KJTe1qewacoo1_r1_500_zps782

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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DogWithGun_zps223bd2e4.jpg

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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The internet's efforts to get me to download her viruses has reached new heights, as while I attempt to download and install AVG Anti-virus, I'm confronted with this page. Behold them inundating me with "Download now" buttons:

 

10916546746_804deec011_o.jpg

Edited by Agiel
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Quote
"Turned wrong way round, the relentless unforeseen was what we schoolchildren studied as 'History,' harmless history, where everything unexpected in its own time is chronicled on the page as inevitable. The terror of the unforeseen is what the science of history hides, turning a disaster into an epic.”

 

-Philip Roth, The Plot Against America

 

Quote
"Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them."

 

-James Fallows

 

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"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow..."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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