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The tread for all your rhyming silliness.

 

 

So here are a few taken from my repertoire:

 

 

 

 

GANDALF Vs. DUMBLEDORE:

GANDALF:

Listen mr dumb as a door, its time I use you to mop the floor,
You haven't seen a fraction of my true power,
for I'm not a human, I'm really a Maiar
I am older then Earth, and I'll be around when you are dirt
I was here when the sun rose for the first time
I rapped before humans even knew the word rhyme
You'll need the help of Allmighty if you want to take me,
and by the way, I know the guy - He's with me!

I run around with kings and princes, I party with elven hotties;
Galadriel's a smexy MILF - your elves are all like Dobby!

I got a magic sword and I skillfully use it, but I don't need it to whup your ass
I'm a wizzard and a fighter while you're a looser - all you got is lots of mass.

And that's four hobbits, not two, you stupid c**t!
How did you make headmaster when you can't even count?

The school is safe you say? What a bunch of lies!
With you in charge, no wonder the faculty is dropping like flies.

Your students are like redshirts, the school is poorly run
one would be safer on the frontlines - in World War 1.

Without your wand you're nothing - and even with it you ain't much,
Just a geezer chasing boys - I already won, game, set and match.



CHUCK NORRIS:

I attack sharks when I smell them bleed,
I stare down books and they give me the info I need.

My phone doesn't vibrate - it shakes with fear.
Death craps itself when I am near.

I made time wait for me, I squeeze water from sand,
Jesus may walk on water, but I swim trough land.

I don't shower, I take bloodbaths - and the blood will be yours.
I kill 50 people with a grenade, before it explodes.

I'm Freddy Krugers nightmare. I out-stared a wall
I use a combine harveser to scrach my itchy balls.

I fought Superman; and the bet was, as it stands:
"The looser has to wear his underware over his pants"

I just walk into Mordor and I touched MC Hammer,
I ate just one pringles and killed Road Runner.

I play russian roullete with a loaded gun, go first and win.
If I hit the road, it dies. You're not an enemy - you're a victim!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


GET IN MAH BELLY!
 

What would I want in your belly?
It reeks something bad, and like you, it's smelly.

You got no class, despite all apperances.
I stole your thunder in all the instances.

I'll continue stealing it, and your spotlight too.
My rhymes are superior, and you know it, you do!

So bring out your A-game and lets have a clash,
I'll see you later, for now I have to dash!


*******

 

What's this? 3 days and no rebuttal still?
Has my awsome display left you feeling ill?

Probably so for my rhymes are classic.
Stylish and poignant, while yours are flaccid.
Lacking true worth and scribbled in haste
A shame all your effort went to such waste.


On my throne of ryhme I will wait for your kind
To produce an adversary that can challenge my mind.
A futile effort, but we do as we must,
As the old saying goes - hope dies last!

 

 

 

 

I challenge Ye forumites to a battle of wits

Let the words bounce around like a pair of voluptios ****.

 

Bring out some rhymes to glorify Project Eternity

Or some events that warrant recording for posterity.

 

Sharpen your toungs and let the dance begin,

I shall be the judge so you know you can't win.

Edited by TrashMan
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* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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Haters will hate

You have no clue

So bring it on b*t*h!

I'm not afraid of you.

 

 

Your style is broke,

Your rhymes are crappy

So come at me bro!

You won't leave happy.

* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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Written-Rap-Battle!!!!

 

What you think yourself tough? Man, I see through your bluff

You come to my board acting like you know s**t, kid?

I'll edit you in half and then throw you in-my-troll-pit.

 

I'm gonna do as all a favor

and take the out this 'trash'..

And when I'm done here there'll be nothing but ash..

 

See, I've deleted more posts than you make in a year

You're out your league boy, better run back in fear

To that "Order" - you think r' gonna save your a**?

Think again sonny, here what I say comes to pass!

 

And thou shall not, as long as I hold the Lash.

 

Word.. or.. stuff.. yeah! *tough pose*

 

Ok that was pretty lame, but these guys are awesome.

Fortune favors the bald.

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Pfft. you think I'm impressed by a forum moderator?

The way you flaunt one would think you're the damned Governator.

 

Like a faun displays his feathers and puffs his chest,

so you point out the post count beneath your belt.

 

Too bad it's the only thing you have between your legs

Dissapointed, that what she said while leaving your bed

 

You should wake up and take a shower,

Realise this is the only place you have any power

The internets my stage, my voice will be heard

So go ahead and rage, cause you just got served!

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* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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Also, Snoopy there sucked. Comandizzle? That ain't even a word.

* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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One two three four

I don't like to rhyme no more

Five six seven eight

Such is a path's ending fate

Nine ten eleven twelve

When our brain we store and shelve.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Because you got a dirty mind thats sick and too prone to haste?

* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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Scaled wave rider, suppers scion.

Caught with wriggling orm, and hook of cold iron.

Swim again, in a vat of of golden oil.

Battered and fried, with apples born of soil.

A benediction of fouled wine, a sprinkle of salt tears.

Washed down with a pint of mild, cheers me dears.

Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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COPY-PASTA

 

 


Trash, if you're the judge then of course you can't lose,
even if you're less skilled than a teenager with booze.

You're arrogant, condescending, a class-A prick:
Dealing with you makes this whole forum sick!
They call you TrashMan? Well that's just great.
But Waste Management seems to be running late.
Since they've not yet hauled your a** off the curb,
I guess I'll have to show you out of this burb.

I'd take some more time to give you schooling,
But the Russians are calling, some aliens need screwing.

 

 


I agree with those rhymes, you've got no verse,
the more you are posting, the more they get worse.
My man Waladil here has spoken the truth,
you and your trash-heaps are just uncouth.

I'm Gizmo Gomez, and I'm here to say
that I've gotten involved, I think I'm gonna stay.
If you've got the nerve to challenge my might,
then I guess we're in for an epic rap fight.

(Call it rap or poetry, to me it matters little,
at the end of the day, you'll still play second fiddle.)

 

 


Challegners for me? What a hapy day
Two is company, or so I heard folk say.

You call me arrogant, I say I'm a realist.
In fact you could even call me an idealist.
The ideals of intelect to say more exact,
Something you lack as a matter of fact.

You call me a prick, but I'm just being honest
If you're looking for a battle, prepare for a gore-fest.

My nick is TrashMan, that is true,
but earned cause I take care of trash like you!
Like garbage I collect your pitiful rhyme,
grind it and stick it where the sun don't shine.

I'll break your verses like twigs you mothaf****
Run back to your crib and make out with eachother.

 

 


Oh I'm sorry, did you think you're a threat?
I'm less scared of you than I am of getting wet.
It's worthy to note that swimming to me
Comes as easily as talking sh*t to you seems to be.

You like to talk about your intellect
But as I can so easily recollect,
That there's exactly two 'p's in happy --
In case you need reminding, two's before three.

Now Gomez don't get me wrong you're a brother,
But I don't typically take men as my lovers,
So I'll be declining TrashMan's pleasant request,
I wont make some gay love at his behest.

 

 


What a pitiful verse, I can only scoff,
"happy" and "three" might rhyme, but the rest is off.
It doens't flow easily at all off the tounge
how many hours did it take for you to come up with this dung?

Oh, and taking speed typos as proof on intelect?
Then by your own critera you are a retard then!
Cause I seem to recall you making typos too,
just like everyone else - and then you call me a fool?

Now I'm running out of ideas, I have to admit
Generic insults can only go so far, you twit.
On the intrnet we are strangers, I don't really know you
And thus lack knowledge to make proper fun of you.
I can only make fun of your verses for so long before it gets dull
Constant repetition will just put the auidence into a lul.

Should we take the roles of great personas from history?
To trade rhymey blows while roleplaying for all to see?
Or maybe we could rhyme about that time we led an assault,
And a sebillian civillian killed half our men with his plasma bolt.
Or when a grenade bounced back under your soliders feet,
The first of many mishaps that leads to inevitable defeat.
Or when you chopper arrives to the terror site just one minute too late
And the nation nukes the bloody thing, sealing everyones fate?

* YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *

Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake!

 

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