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The funny things thread


Rosbjerg

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The deer population was really up last year just before deer season. Usually, I MIGHT come across a deer or two a year on the road. Last year, it was 5 in the two weeks before it started. I was never happier for it, and I don't hunt. A guy who sped by me as I was about to pull out of my driveway on my way to work one day ended up hitting a deer a few miles down the road. When i told my friend at the video store, the lady he worked with told be she actually had a deer run up from behind her, just to get mauled by her car, getting the car wrecked in the process. When she told her sister this, she sent her this:

 

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You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want.

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A card received yesterday from the parents with my commentary in italics:

 

A Son's Ten Commandments

 

1. Thou shalt always wear clean underwear, in case thou art in an accident.  compliant

 

2. Thou shalt not telleth secret tales of thy youth, for verily thy parents are better off in denial.  guilty

 

3. Thou shalt not destroy naked baby pictures of thyself.  guilty

 

4. Thou shalt remember thy parents' birthdays.  compliant

 

5. Thou shalt not make the "cuckoo" sign nor holdeth the phone away from thine ear and thinketh "blah, blah, blah" while thou doth converse with thy parent.  guilty

 

6. Thou shalt not sell thy gift sweates in sales of rummage, nor use them as oil rags in thy garage.  guilty

 

7. Thou shalt write or call home or drop by so thou mayest keep parents in the loop.  compliant

 

8. Thou shalt not mocketh thy relatives, calling them neither "deadbeats" nor "pinheads".  guilty

 

9. Thou shalt not avoid family reunions by offering such false excuses as "fishing" or "washing thy car".  guilty

 

10. On thy birthday, thou shalt celebrate thyself mightily, for verily thou art a good guy who deserveth a day off from, yea, these many commandments!  guilty, as I rarely celebrate my birthday

http://cbrrescue.org/

 

Go afield with a good attitude, with respect for the wildlife you hunt and for the forests and fields in which you walk. Immerse yourself in the outdoors experience. It will cleanse your soul and make you a better person.----Fred Bear

 

http://michigansaf.org/

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"Bristol mayor George Ferguson has had a cup of cold coffee poured over his head at the Bristol Anarchist Bookfair...

He said he had had heated conversations with some people, and was pushed to the ground when he offered to shake the hand of the man who poured the coffee...

...

Mr Ferguson, who stood as an Independent in November's mayoral election, said he was slightly bruised as a result of the attack but basically unhurt.

He added that it was "surprising" it had taken five months for somebody to pour something over him."

 

Thought that was amusing.

 

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Edited by Malcador

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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Well...I guess it's...grimdark. :blink:

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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