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(Advanced) Fighting in Tunnels


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Hello.

 

As you well know, the qunitessence, the existential raison detre of role-playing is Fighting in Tunnels.

 

Everything else is wet, pansy, emo bollocks.

 

Role-Plaeyers have been for many years baffled and seduced by inferior, lesser products than those included in the official Advance Fighting in Tunnels

Edited by Monte Carlo
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How do I preorder this magnificent item?

 

I suspected you were a man of taste and a proper role-plaeyer. The initial release of (A)FiT will be by Q4 of this year and will be free. Once addicted to the gaming opium that is (A)FiT you will then pay through the nose for a series of completely original adventures where you fight increasingly powerful giants (in tunnels) before moving to the UnderTunnels (or the tunnels below the tunnels). There might be one with a spaceship too.

 

I am completely serious. The core rulebook (using my proprietary 'd6 system') will be released free, gratis and for nothing. That way some of the whippersnapprs here can sink their milk teeth into some meaty old-skool goodness, back to the days when dictator-like GMs (or, in (A)FiT Tunnel Masters) made rules up on the fly and you'd get through six player characters in one session before deciding to adopt the last surviving henchman as your PC. And every party hada PC called Bob. Excited? You bet!!

 

Yours in Tunnels,

 

E. Monte Carlax

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I thought I'd share a character class with you, a little peak of the juicy gaming pianata that is (Advanced) Fighting in Tunnels

 

The Sapper

 

Races: Any except Hobbits, because Hobbits live in pansy forests and have birthday parties and go on adventures with elves (yuck). Dwarves make good Sappers and receive a +10% Exp. bonus for the first three levels of their career.

Hit dice per level: 2d6

 

The Sapper (SAP) is a tough, resilient dungeon explorer, engineer and an excellent addition to any tunnel-fighting team. Skilled in disarming traps, opening locks, first aid and identifying dangerous stonework, the sapper needs a good STRENGTH, AGILITY and SENSE scores (no less than 10). As they advance in power and skill, Engineers may opt to specialise in healing technologies and alchemy or tunnel engineering, traps and locks. All sappers can dig through tunnels, with the right tools, at twice the rate of any other character.

 

Weapon skills: From their early days as a Sapper's Apprentice, Sappers are drilled in the use of small weapons ideal for fighting in confined spaces. They receive an incrememtal, level-based bonus with daggers, short swords, hand axes, the Cestus, clubs and light maces. They normally eschew missile weapons, but may use them if they wish.

 

EXAMPLE SAPPER LEVEL PROGRESSION (1-3)

 

1st Level - Apprentice Sapper - HD 2d6 - No attack bonus. Skills: +1 Spot trap / disarm trap / tunnel-sense / digging

2nd Level - Tunneller - HD 4d6 - Attack bonus +1 with class wepaons. Skills:+ 1 first aid

3rd Level - Tunnel explorer - HD 6d6 - No attack bonus (received every other level). Skills: May choose 1 skills point to add to any two skills

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You will be delighted to learn that (Advanced) Fighting in Tunnels only has four character classes:

 

Tunnel Fighter - doughty tunnel warrior and expert at killing things in tunnels

 

Maze Mage - a magic-user, skilled in subterranean magic and bending the tunnel environment to their will!

 

The Sapper - Engineer, scout, medic, hero!

 

Prospect - roll a character with less than optimal stats, and not qualify for the main classes? Reach level 2 (if you dare) as a Prospect and choose any class (even if your stats are below those normally required) and get a boost to your prime statistic.

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As I've said, our imitators try to work around this basic tenet of role-plaeying yet consistently fail. Advanced Fighting in Tunnels

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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There will be a basic Tunnel module, entitled "The Tunnel on the Borderlands."

 

That was so completely obvious that it didn't need mentioning, whelp.

 

After that you may purchase original, authorised and authentic (A)FIT adventure modules. I hope this clarifies matters.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 9 months later...

BUMP!

 

EDIT: Alt names:

 

Fighting In Some Goblin's Bedroom

 

Creeping Round Tunnels in Total Silence

Edited by Walsingham

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Does this offer cover therapy costs post-career in tunnel fighting?

Edited by Drowsy Emperor

И погибе Српски кнез Лазаре,
И његова сва изгибе војска, 
Седамдесет и седам иљада;
Све је свето и честито било
И миломе Богу приступачно.

 

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Could be just FIBUA

 

Fighting In Bloody Unpleasant Areas

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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An excerpt from the Core Rule Book...

 

  1. The World of Fighting in Tunnels: How to play

 

In Fighting in Tunnels, players taken on the role of intrepid, tunnel-focussed explorers in a world of fantasy and magic. One player, however, must accept the fell task of TUNNEL MASTER (hereafter referred to as TM). The TM is referee, story-teller, tyrant, creative engine-room and all-round facilitator of play. Invariably, the guy who can afford all the splat-books and suffers most acutely from OCD than the others will become TM or the first among equals as we prefer to call him (or indeed her, in about 0.3% of games).

 

You will need:

 

  • Some players (this isn’t as easy as it sounds)
  • A map of a tunnel (you may purchase pre-prepared Tunnel ‘modules’ from Monte Studies Rules, MSR, do not accept cheap substitutes!)
  • Pencils and paper
  • Markers / figurines for characters (not necessary but fun, especially when drunk and a Lego Darth Vader becomes one of the characters and falls to bits in an ashtray representing a Gelatinous Cube)
  • Several cases of beer and wine, plus a pizza delivery menu to argue over later
  • Tunnel Dice (FiT uses the innovative ‘D6’ system, so all you’ll ever need is a six-sided dice)
  • A room where your wife / partner / flatmate will not disturb you and make disapproving looks when the new player in the group lights an exotic cigarette

Cleaning products to deal with wine stains, cigarette burns and all the other carnage one might expect from half a dozen slightly drunk gamers

 

manger-une-part-de-pizza-est-un-art-505.

 

Fig 1. Pizza. An essential gaming aid.

 

  1. Fighting in Tunnels versus Lesser Gaming Systems

 

Lesser gaming systems (or LGS for short) seek to distract you from the essence of fantasy role-plaeying, which is of course exploring dungeons, slaying monsters, getting killed arbitrarily by traps and (of course) looting. The average LGS might concern itself with extraneous oddities like plotting, detailed campaign settings and NPCs who aren’t pointless cannon-fodder. All of this distracts the player from enjoying being the best tunnel fighter they can be! The TM has to be careful of refugees from LGS’ and be especially wary of the following:

 

  • Fakespearean: The first time any player says verily, forsooth or Milady (unless quoting Monty Python / Blackadder etc) HE MUST BE BANISHED FROM THE GROUP. Personally, I would also anonymously alert the authorities. This is FiT: players should sound like Clint Eastwood or Russell Crowe FFS

 

  • Emo Bull****: Beware the player who asks “what’s my motive here?” or, even worse, seeks to develop some type of rapport with a non-player character. Tell this guy to scoot back to acting school and leave the Real Gaemers alone!

 

  • Computer Gaemers: Easily spotted, after each fight this player will want to rest for eight hours so he can get all his powers back before the next skirmish. This miscreant should also be BANISHED back to World of Starcraft 6 or whatever it is he plays

 

  • Hippies: There are still some left, they lurk in gaming stores and will invite themselves into your home. They will pretend to be interested in the game, but really they’ve only turned up to make rude comments about your music collection, drink all the booze, bitch about the lack of organic pizza toppings, wax lyrical about 1st Edition RuneQuest and cadge exotic cigarettes.

unemployed-casual-gamer.jpg

 

Fig 2. A 'computer gamer' do not let this miscreant anywhere near your gaming group.

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If I printed this onto 2000 leaflets I could get elected at the next local elections.

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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  • 9 months later...

I've heard rumours that a Sci-Fi version of FiT is being developed, Combat in Asteroids, is this true?

Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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I've heard rumours that a Sci-Fi version of FiT is being developed, Combat in Asteroids, is this true?

War in Wormholes.

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"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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Although I can confirm there are is no Romance content in this product.

I guess we will have to write our own Sex in Sewers books then.

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"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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