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Kaftan makes fun of Isaac Asimov


Kaftan Barlast

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I read "I robot" the other day in order to find out more about this hardcore sci-fi you **** keep blathering on about. I thought it was quite ridicilous, so I decided to write a short mockery of it because I was bored and felt like typing something. I showed it to my friends and they said Im an idiot with too much time on my hands.

 

http://krotma.com/img/robotmockery.pdf

 

 

And keep in mind that real men never spellcheck or correct anything they write.

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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I read "I robot" the other day in order to find out more about this hardcore sci-fi you **** keep blathering on about. I thought it was quite ridicilous, so I decided to write a short mockery of it because I was bored and felt like typing something. I showed it to my friends and they said Im an idiot with too much time on my hands.

 

http://krotma.com/img/robotmockery.pdf

 

 

And keep in mind that real men never spellcheck or correct anything they write.

 

Asimov's fiction has always been a bit difficult for me to read. His memoirs were pretty good, though, and his nonfiction science stuff were pretty influential when they were current, in terms of getting kids into science. So, on the whole, yay Asimov.

Matthew Rorie
 

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THE NED?

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

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No Kaftan, you're not tricking us into reading your fanfic, no matter how you disguise it.

 

Asimov wasn't ALL sci-fi, btw. His works on ancient Rome are ok.

- When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.

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I tried reading "...electric sheep" by PKD aswell, but that was even worse. I didnt get past the part in the first chapter about how people have artificial pets on their roofs. Atleast Asimov didnt faff about so much until he got to the damn point. Even if that point is sort of disapointing at times, like when a robot breaks because it gets stuck in a loop between law 1 & 2. Dont they have QA in Asimovs future?

 

 

And the ned is totally intentional. I actually started with that and added the rest around it.

 

 

No Kaftan, you're not tricking us into reading your fanfic, no matter how you disguise it.

 

Dangit! You saw through my thinly painted facade already? I was just going to sort of ease it in until I got to the slash stuff. I have a real sweet idea about maybe an Arthur C. Clark/Stanley Kubrick story :)

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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arent you making a game taht involves making fun of history stufsf and what not kaftan?

 

how is that going?

There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached.

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Read Valis from PKD, it's really cool! I never liked Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? or Asimov's I, Robot, although I quite enjoyed the Foundation series.

 

Also a boring short story I'm afraid, but very much in Asimov's style.. :grin:

Fortune favors the bald.

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Androids... is PKD, not Asimov

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

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Even if that point is sort of disapointing at times, like when a robot breaks because it gets stuck in a loop between law 1 & 2. Dont they have QA in Asimovs future?
As I recall, their positronic brains have to be unstable in order to work, much like the people on this forum.

"Moral indignation is a standard strategy for endowing the idiot with dignity." Marshall McLuhan

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tupp-762088.jpg- is probably the best english curseword ever invented. Its short, powerful and very direct to the point. Its so good that I sometimes use it in Swedish, even though its punisheable by death to further contribute to the anglification of our already collapsing language.

 

 

Even if that point is sort of disapointing at times, like when a robot breaks because it gets stuck in a loop between law 1 & 2. Dont they have QA in Asimovs future?
As I recall, their positronic brains have to be unstable in order to work, much like the people on this forum.

 

So the people in Asimovs universe have a strong habit of leaving extraordinarily important, and possibly failiure-means-death-to-mankind, tasks to machines that are inherently unstable?! Thats increadibly stupid.

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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I have posted this in another thread, but Asimov had a great sense of humor.

"The Last Question" should be read by anyone. You finish it within a cup of coffee.

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

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I read it the other week actually, it ends

with the ultimate computer recreating the universe again.

Kind of anticlimactic when you think about it.

 

 

 

And if a positronic brain is inherently unstable, the three laws of robotics dont really matter since it will just glitch and disobey them whenever it gets a buffer overflow or whatever. I would have a killswitch instead that reboots the computer when the power fluctutates to indicate that the brain is glitching.

Edited by Kaftan Barlast

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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I read it the other week actually, it ends

with the ultimate computer recreating the universe again.

Kind of anticlimactic when you think about it.

 

 

 

And if a positronic brain is inherently unstable, the three laws of robotics dont really matter since it will just glitch and disobey them whenever it gets a buffer overflow or whatever. I would have a killswitch instead that reboots the computer when the power fluctutates to indicate that the brain is glitching.

 

Remind me not to expect Kaft's robots to do anything delicate or supervise a nuclear reactor.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Well, while MY robots would just reboot and unglitch themselves- Asimovs would start a new religion, start to see humanity as a threat and decide to blow up the plant on purpouse. Mine are clearly superior.

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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You're thinking of the robots in terms of a deterministic computer. I think Asimov's idea was that in order to be self-aware they'd have to be based on chaos theory or something like that.

"Moral indignation is a standard strategy for endowing the idiot with dignity." Marshall McLuhan

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I actually dont think Asimov ever explained how the positronic brain works, other than that it uses positrons because he liked the word. They seem to use an organic/evolving AI though, but one that can also be programmed.. which doesnt make any sense since you cant program an AI like that anymore than you can a human brain, but its sci-fi so who cares?

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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I tried reading "...electric sheep" by PKD aswell, but that was even worse. I didnt get past the part in the first chapter about how people have artificial pets on their roofs. Atleast Asimov didnt faff about so much until he got to the damn point. Even if that point is sort of disapointing at times, like when a robot breaks because it gets stuck in a loop between law 1 & 2. Dont they have QA in Asimovs future?

Unfortunately the fiction you are reading is "of it's time" ... which is a cop out, kinda like saying "Isaac Newton was a smart guy, even though he stole calculus from that nice Leibniz fellow and believed he would successfully complete alchemy".

 

PKD was also a great ideas man. (Count the films made from his short stories.) We didn't think much of Electric Sheep, though the whole novel is a set-up for the

plot twist

, and the Ridley Scott film interpretation is a much better incarnation of the whole tale. (But only if you don't watch the dumbed-down original release with the Ford voice-over, which completely avoids the

plot twist

from the novel!)

I actually dont think Asimov ever explained how the positronic brain works, other than that it uses positrons because he liked the word. They seem to use an organic/evolving AI though, but one that can also be programmed.. which doesnt make any sense since you cant program an AI like that anymore than you can a human brain, but its sci-fi so who cares?

We re-read Foundation a few weeks ago and found it brilliant, if na

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