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Uncomfortable plot summaries


Purkake

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Movie/TV plots summarized in uncomfortable, yet funny ways.

 

Some examples:

 

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.

LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.

BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.

FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.

 

Feel free to add your own. (HINT: make sure they are funny.)

Edited by Purkake
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Angry Alien Productions

 

AKA: The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library

 

My favoury movie summary site. Many classics replayed in 30 seconds, starring bunnies :)

 

Edit: One I remember from top of my head...

 

Alice in Wonderland - a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again.

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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battlestar galactica: embittered sex-bots destroy humanity... again.

old yeller: gun wielding minor slays dog hero.

 

 

HA! Good Fun!

Edited by Gromnir

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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Some of those are really funny ... but mostly only if you've seen the movie in question. Like:

 

DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality. :fdevil:

 

I'm not this-type-of-creative enough to come up with any on my own, tho.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Alice in Wonderland - a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again.

 

You mean the Wizard of Oz.

"When is this out. I can't wait to play it so I can talk at length about how bad it is." - Gorgon.

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FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.

GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.

GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.

IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.

METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.

War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength

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Alice in Wonderland - a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again.

 

You mean the Wizard of Oz.

 

Yep, Alice in Wonderland should have something to do with drug abuse, I'd guess.

 

Secrets of Nimh - Rats who steal cable TV from neighbors.

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Alice in Wonderland - a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete stangers to kill again.

 

You mean the Wizard of Oz.

Yes :woot:

 

Too much coffee, too little sleep

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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Here's an eclectic mix...

 

Humpty Dumpty: Stigmatised overweight person falls from elevated position without any issued safety equipment. Inept military unable to assist. People compose amusing rhyme to celebrate tragedy.

 

The Guns of Navarone: Trigger-happy special forces ruin Greek wedding and destroy prominent local landmark whilst contravening Geneva conventions by wearing enemy uniforms.

 

Magnum P.I. : Traumatised war veteran attempts to blot out PTSD symptoms by growing large moustache and adopting elderly English fascist as room-mate.

 

Star Trek: Humourless, politically-correct uber-race travel universe to educate aliens about the joys of tight-fitting unisex clothing. Those who disagree are vaporised by hi-tech energy weapons.

 

Watership Down: Selfish rabbits frustrate scientific breakthrough on communicable disease prevention.

 

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe: Small imperialists thwart feminist attempt to reduce global warming in Narnia.

 

Reservoir Dogs: Men forced into crime by societal marginalisation are set-up for brutal massacre.

 

Speed: Senior citizen with seeking enhanced pension contributions takes direct action against under-funded public transport network. Cop forces drink driver drive bus full of civilians in order to help him blow up aforementioned senior citizen.

 

Casablanca: Mercenary alcoholic only helps resistance fighter because he once had sex with his girlfriend.

 

Toodle pip!

MC

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SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.

 

lol

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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