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Alternative alternative life


thepixiesrock

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-Go to a street corner and watch people walking down the street, and point out all of their flaws, then remember why you are a better person then all of them.

 

-Moon everyone who looks at you for a day.

 

-Open a shop right next-door to another shop, and run them out of business, just to see them squirm.

 

-Find a homeless man and wave a wad of cash in front of him. Then burn it.

 

-Get a promotion and make sure you screw over 10 friends in doing so.

 

-Invite someone over for a home cooked meal, don't forget the laxatives! Don't worry, they'll think it's funny later.

 

-Get a shy and bookish girl to fall in love with you. When she does, dump her and tell her you can do better.

 

-Spend 10 years getting fat, paying people to come over your house and play PnP, and playing video games and hating every one of them.

 

-Turn up your T.V. and stereo obnoxiously loud, and then when the neighbors come round to complain, talk to them through a megaphone.

 

-Go to a disco and be the best dancer there. If you're pretty, wear really nice and expensive clothes, to show how much better than everyone else you are. If you're not pretty, don't go, they don't like your kind there.

 

-Get drunk and take a nap in the park. While taking the nap be sure to puke on yourself. Also, be a bum.

 

-Only pursue the dreams that you can actually achieve. Remember, happiness is only measured in success. And hookers.

 

-Try and hold a job for a month you worthless hippy, you parents can't support you forever.

 

-Don't get married, it will only slow down your love life.

 

-Paint your loved one with smeared poop. Everywhere.

 

-Spend half an hour smelling other people until they are so uncomfortable that they move. Hurray, the couch is yours!

 

-Spend an entire weekend gorging yourself in front of a homeless family at the local soup kitchen, then, puke it all out in front of them.

 

It

Edited by thepixiesrock

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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[1]-Get a shy and bookish girl to fall in love with you. When she does, dump her and tell her you can do better.

 

[2]-Go to a disco and be the best dancer there. If you're pretty, wear really nice and expensive clothes, to show how much better than everyone else you are.

 

[3]-Get drunk and take a nap in the park. While taking the nap be sure to puke on yourself. Also, be a bum.

 

[4]-Try and hold a job for a month you worthless hippy, you parents can't support you forever.

 

It

Fortune favors the bald.

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-Turn up your T.V. and stereo obnoxiously loud, and then when the neighbors come round to complain, talk to them through a megaphone.

 

 

 

 

It starts tomorrow, as soon as I can get my hands on a megaphone

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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I have been reliably informed by zoologists that I dance like a rhino that has been set afire.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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