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Kaftan Barlast

The GM from hell..

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My regular RPG group got a visitor for the weekend and he wanted to guest GM a short adventure for us, I was actually looking forward to it.

 

 

We start of session 1 with just making characters, I came there with a well-planned concept and we all sat down and got to it. It turns out we're playing Eon, a swedish RPG with very intricate and innovative rules but also more tables than rolemaster itself.

 

The first sign of trouble was when we began by rolling our traits and calculating derived stats, he pulled out some old sheets which were obviously old characters of his and started mocking us how much our characters were going to suck compared to his. I rolled my eyes and didnt say anything.

 

 

Second sign of trouble was when we were going to do backgrounds and actually put our characters 'souls' to paper. I was halfway through writing down basic stuff like length etc. when he stopped me and, obviously annoyed with me, explained that we were using the tables and only the tables.

 

He then went on to force us to use the games background tables for every single step of character background creation. My character started out as a petty criminal, wandering, hobo of dubious morals but when the GM was finished randomizing him through the tables he was.. I **** you not.. a soldier who had been knighted and given title, money and land for his brave actions during the battle of whatever. Now currently positioned in the imperial city where he leads a platoon of elite warriors.

 

"DUDE, WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOBO?!!!" I screamed inside.

 

I pleaded with him to let me do my character as I had written him but he refused stating that the rulebooks randomizer background tables were there to be used (despite it being written clearly in the beginning of those 40+ pages of tables that the whole thing is optional). He stopped every 10min or so of character creation to tell us how totally sweet his NPCs(his old PCs) were and how they were going to set us straight if we strayed from his intended course.

 

 

 

but it didnt end there...

 

DAY 2: The actual session

 

 

We sit down and begin to play. The whole adventure starts with us walking around the town square and meeting his

Edited by Kaftan Barlast

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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Seriously? This actually occured?

 

 

O M G


DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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Yes, this actually occured. I shall give you a report of tomorrows events after the session.. if there is one.


DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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Good Lord. I've been drinking a little, so I'm not sure if it's your story or the booze, but that just seems soooo <deleted explitive>. I mean, it'd probably be funny, but in my current state, it's mostly confusing.

 

That's what I need to do in my online campaign. I'll bring in some of my old characters who will set the five hooligans on the path to righteousness. I'd need two NPCs for Baley. The kid has sex on the brain. Why didn't I think of this NPC as DM's character before?


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Remembering tarna, Phosphor, Metadigital, and Visceris.  Drink mead heartily in the halls of Valhalla, my friends!

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Haha, that's awesome. Just make a pact with your friends to steal his characters uber leet gear when they're not looking (preferably when they're far away), then gtfo. Literally.


Spreading beauty with my katana.

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Just mess up the campaign as much as possible. Have your characters kill themselves, make love, "accidentally" shoot the NPC heroes in the back, etc. If the characters aren't even the characters you want to play (since it's all randomized) then you probably don't hold any connection to the character in the first place, so why would you care if the GM's "uber leet PCs" can wipe the floor with you?

 

Get your character killed as fast as possible so you can have an excuse not to play anymore.

 

I don't see why you can't have fun with this. It's such an absurd situation, why don't you look at it as a comedic opportunity? See how far you and your friends can push this guest GM.

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but it didnt end there...

Why did you show up, seriously. :-

 

I recommend just telling him what you think is wrong with this whole thing, and leaving. No reason for you to start acting like idiots as well, like some here seem to suggest.

 

 

 

"DUDE, WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOBO?!!!" I screamed inside.

At first, I thought the whole hobo-thing was the result of the random tables as well... Pretty wacky tables at that.

 

I've sometimes found players (occassionally myself included) really eager to use such tables though. They can be pretty fun, if they're not too extreme. Or, as an introduction to a different setting.

Edited by MrBrown

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I don't see why you can't have fun with this. It's such an absurd situation, why don't you look at it as a comedic opportunity? See how far you and your friends can push this guest GM.

 

this guy has a point.


Hadescopy.jpg

(Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it)

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I recommend heeding the advice of "this guy" too.^

 

 

I can just imagine your visiting GM laying waste to the whole party when he finds out you've been intentionally undermining the whole campaign. See if his ego can take it. :D

Edited by Musopticon?

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Sadly, our visiting demonic GM had to bugger off earlier than expected and so the game will not continue. :huh:

 

 

During play I did of course, undertake several minor attempts at undermining the adventure but I was at all times hindered by the GM and his 1337 NPCs. Right before the game ended I befouled a temple in sheer contempt, whereupon I was hit by some sort of curse which I countered by knocking myself unconscious.


DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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Damn it. Might have been fun.


I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Get Hades to roleplay the DM with his leet dudes. I think it'd be one heck of a party when both sides know what the other's up to and try to upstage each other.

 

Maybe Eldar can be arbiter and give out xp in the form of style points.


Spreading beauty with my katana.

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Only decent thing to do is to listen calmly and politely, then inform the guy he is a fool. If he objects, place him in a large burlap sack. Start the campaign over with one of you refereeing.


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Wow. And I thought my game with all beginning gamers last Friday was bad...

 

If someone ran a game like this, not only would I not play one of his games again, but he'd also be banned from playing in any of the games I was running.

 

I mean, it's all well and good to say you can just go with it and have fun, but I'd be mighty pissed if someone forced me to play something I didn't want... and then proceeded to basically not let me play. It already annoys me when I can't play a CN character at D&D because the DM wants everybody to play good-aligned characters... I can't even imagine how I'd react if said DM told me I couldn't play a rogue, but had to play a paladin. :wub:

 

I second the burlap sack motion.


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DISCLAIMER: These posts may contain humour. No warranties as to the gelogenic qualities, either expressed or implied, are undertaken by the undersigned. All rights reserved. This does not affect your IQ. Any issues, see your psychologist or increase your dosage. --Metadigital

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