Kaftan Barlast Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I figured out how to switch sound channels on my decoder so I could watch Cartoon Network in english and as I was flipping through the channels waiting for Clone Wars to come on, I stumbled upon one-of-those-channels that show you-know-what. A female was practising fellatio upon a member of the opposite sex, which is fine, the horror laid in the sound. I now know why the its always so muffled and low in pornfilms. But now the sound was on full and crystal clear as though I could her it inside my head. I will never forget the slurping, the gurgling and the smacking. ...the horror ...the horror DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Foot Invisible Rabbit Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 You just flipped the channel and got that? Normally that sort of thing is PPV. Harvey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WITHTEETH Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I figured out how to switch sound channels on my decoder so I could watch Cartoon Network in english and as I was flipping through the channels waiting for Clone Wars to come on, I stumbled upon one-of-those-channels that show you-know-what. A female was practising fellatio upon a member of the opposite sex, which is fine, the horror laid in the sound. I now know why the its always so muffled and low in pornfilms. But now the sound was on full and crystal clear as though I could her it inside my head. I will never forget the slurping, the gurgling and the smacking. ...the horror ...the horror <{POST_SNAPBACK}> HoTT <---- notice the 2 T's Always outnumbered, never out gunned! Unreal Tournament 2004 Handle:Enlight_2.0 Myspace Website! My rig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Barth Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Uh, am I missing something here? The horror? Did she have her dentures out or something? I don't get it. WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludozee Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Geez, finally some free pron on TV and still complaining... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 You just flipped the channel and got that? Normally that sort of thing is PPV. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Not in Sweden :D ..if you watch at midnight there's atleast 5 channels with nothing but good ol hardcore pornography. As to the horror: The sound was... Imagine if you put a hypersensitive microphone inside the mouth of an 80yearold eating vanilla pudding and then played it back at 110 decibel. DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Barth Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 You just flipped the channel and got that? Normally that sort of thing is PPV. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Not in Sweden :D ..if you watch at midnight there's atleast 5 channels with nothing but good ol hardcore pornography. As to the horror: The sound was... Imagine if you put a hypersensitive microphone inside the mouth of an 80yearold eating vanilla pudding and then played it back at 110 decibel. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You should record that to CD and play it in your car. Thats the kind of thing I play when I cruise the Strip. WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowPaladin V1.0 Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I never recovered from seeing one of my mates girlfriends on an amatuer show. I would have paid him the I have to agree with Volourn. Bioware is pretty much dead now. Deals like this kills development studios. 478327[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WITHTEETH Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 You should record that to CD and play it in your car. Thats the kind of thing I play when I cruise the Strip. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> What a cool guy. <_< Always outnumbered, never out gunned! Unreal Tournament 2004 Handle:Enlight_2.0 Myspace Website! My rig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf16 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 You just flipped the channel and got that? Normally that sort of thing is PPV. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Not in Sweden :D ..if you watch at midnight there's atleast 5 channels with nothing but good ol hardcore pornography. As to the horror: The sound was... Imagine if you put a hypersensitive microphone inside the mouth of an 80yearold eating vanilla pudding and then played it back at 110 decibel. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmm...Sweden you say? I think a vacation might be in order. I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows 'Cause I won't know the man that kills me and I don't know these men I kill but we all wind up on the same side 'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will. - Everlast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I never recovered from seeing one of my mates girlfriends on an amatuer show. I would have paid him the DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludozee Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hmmm...Sweden you say? I think a vacation might be in order. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You might as well come to Amsterdam, we have the real thing overthere =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WITHTEETH Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hmmm...Sweden you say? I think a vacation might be in order. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You might as well come to Amsterdam, we have the real thing overthere =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ah Prostitution. The oldest profesion in the world. Always outnumbered, never out gunned! Unreal Tournament 2004 Handle:Enlight_2.0 Myspace Website! My rig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Flatus Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 This thread should be renamed - The Wonders of Cable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf16 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hmmm...Sweden you say? I think a vacation might be in order. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You might as well come to Amsterdam, we have the real thing overthere =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ah Prostitution. The oldest profesion in the world. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmmmmmmm....Perhaps 2 vacations, yes, 2 very, very, very long vacations. I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows 'Cause I won't know the man that kills me and I don't know these men I kill but we all wind up on the same side 'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will. - Everlast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaguars4ever Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I figured out how to switch sound channels on my decoder so I could watch Cartoon Network in english and as I was flipping through the channels waiting for Clone Wars to come on, I stumbled upon one-of-those-channels that show you-know-what. A female was practising fellatio upon a member of the opposite sex, which is fine, the horror laid in the sound. I now know why the its always so muffled and low in pornfilms. But now the sound was on full and crystal clear as though I could her it inside my head. I will never forget the slurping, the gurgling and the smacking. ...the horror ...the horror <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmm...Sweden you say? I think a vacation might be in order. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You might as well come to Amsterdam, we have the real thing overthere =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ah Prostitution. The oldest profesion in the world. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I just remebered another smutty anecdote from my hometown. A friend of mine pulled a Trainspotting on another friend of mine and nicked one of his secret tapes of him and his girlfriend. Only, he made an MPEG of it and spread it on the internet. Instant lawsuit + a bit of bad blood. DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowPaladin V1.0 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 What kind of show costs I have to agree with Volourn. Bioware is pretty much dead now. Deals like this kills development studios. 478327[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowPaladin V1.0 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hmmmmmmmm....Perhaps 2 vacations, yes, 2 very, very, very long vacations. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Darth is planning on Australia where statistically women are more likely to put out on the first date. I have to agree with Volourn. Bioware is pretty much dead now. Deals like this kills development studios. 478327[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Foot Invisible Rabbit Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 The only thing worse was when we were invited over for "drinks and nibbles" and to see our friends new baby. Then be subjected to the video of it's birth. Thats definately on my list of things I really never want to see. At least they didnt show us the conception. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Harvey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WITHTEETH Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 The only thing worse was when we were invited over for "drinks and nibbles" and to see our friends new baby. Then be subjected to the video of it's birth. Thats definately on my list of things I really never want to see. At least they didnt show us the conception. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> BARF! Always outnumbered, never out gunned! Unreal Tournament 2004 Handle:Enlight_2.0 Myspace Website! My rig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I got a mild one of those, I was forced to flip through a whole pile of pictures while the mother sat next to me expecting comments. "Oh, so that's what your vagina looks like stretched out to the diameter of a bowling ball?" DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludozee Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hmmmmmmmm....Perhaps 2 vacations, yes, 2 very, very, very long vacations. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Darth is planning on Australia where statistically women are more likely to put out on the first date. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> In Holland, you dont need a date, 50 euros will do. Saves you the time of having a 2 hour dinner (of which you will end up paying the 50 euro bill anyway), and guaranteed action for your money =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowPaladin V1.0 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 In Holland, you dont need a date, 50 euros will do. Saves you the time of having a 2 hour dinner (of which you will end up paying the 50 euro bill anyway), and guaranteed action for your money =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thats something I've never done. Not likely I will now I guess. Oh well maybe next incarnation I have to agree with Volourn. Bioware is pretty much dead now. Deals like this kills development studios. 478327[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WITHTEETH Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 In Holland, you dont need a date, 50 euros will do. Saves you the time of having a 2 hour dinner (of which you will end up paying the 50 euro bill anyway), and guaranteed action for your money =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> They LITERALLY have windowshopping there Always outnumbered, never out gunned! Unreal Tournament 2004 Handle:Enlight_2.0 Myspace Website! My rig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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