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kumquatq3 vs. a chimp


Atomic Space Vixen

In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?  

36 members have voted

  1. 1. In a fair fight with no weapons allowed and kumquatq3 allowed a, let's say a month for training, who would win in a fight, kumquatq3 or an adult male chimpanzee?

    • kumquatq3
      13
    • the chimp
      21
    • I abstain from voting because I haven't been reading the original thread
      2


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I voted Chimp :("

 

But I do think you guys forgot something in the premisses, like what are the rules for the fight ?

 

Naked, no tools, locked in a featureless arena. Chimp wins, no contest.

 

Given any preparation time ? Psycholgical buildup, staring each other in the eye phase first ? (I've seen K3's picture, he might improve the odds a bit).

 

Is performance enhancers/painkillers (doping) allowed ?

 

Basic tools like clubs etc. ?

 

If K3 were allowed to wear icehockey goalie equipment and wielding an icehockey stick, he might have a decent fighting chance. Of course, the chimp should be offered the same :blink:

 

And so on and so on. We need the rules (if any) before the match :)

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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right-o!

 

well it must be an eviroment where neither have an advantage ..

 

whatever weapons are found at the respective area are at their disposel!

 

only a week of mental (and some physical) preparation are allowed on kumquatq3 side .. and the Chimp will be well fed and allowed to swing around all it want!

 

no drugs, no stimulants!

 

sounds fair?

Fortune favors the bald.

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I voted Chimp  :("

 

But I do think you guys forgot something in the premisses, like what are the rules for the fight ?

 

Naked, no tools, locked in a featureless arena. Chimp wins, no contest.

 

Given any preparation time ? Psycholgical buildup, staring each other in the eye phase first ? (I've seen K3's picture, he might improve the odds a bit).

 

Is performance enhancers/painkillers (doping) allowed ?

 

Basic tools like clubs etc. ?

 

If K3 were allowed to wear icehockey goalie equipment and wielding an icehockey stick, he might have a decent fighting chance. Of course, the chimp should be offered the same :blink:

 

And so on and so on. We need the rules (if any) before the match :p

Naked? Bloody hell Gorth, do you WANT kum to lose his balls?

 

As for rules, I doubt the chimp will abide by any. I know in UFC anything goes except for groin strikes, eye-gouging and finger hooking...but in this case I reckon it'll be "last chimp standing". :)

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right-o!

 

well it must be an eviroment where neither have an advantage ..

 

whatever weapons are found at the respective area are at their disposel!

 

only a week of mental (and some physical) preparation are allowed on kumquatq3 side .. and the Chimp will be well fed and allowed to swing around all it want!

 

no drugs, no stimulants!

 

sounds fair?

It has to be no weapons, because that's in the poll dagnabit!

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well the chimp has an advantage then .. since it has better natural weapons than a human! so I wouldn't exclude what is at hand in a fight .. but I think we can agree that no man-made weapons are allowed!

Fortune favors the bald.

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I voted for Kumquat, I don't know why, but I have faith in him. If he gets his genitals badly mutilated or not is a completely different issue

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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Had to vote for the chimp, sorry Kumquat. Now, were you Charlton Heston I'd give the odds to you, but you're no Heston.

That said, I fear for the chimp. While he'd likely win, he'd be entering a new heart of darkness in his life; emotionally scarred from the terrors of the mortal combat, the contorted face of his opponent permanently burned like a grim beacon into his memory. He'll never sleep well again, waking up screaming a blood-curdling chimp scream in the night, thinking he was back, back in that thrice-damned sparring ring.

 

There are no winners in this. Only a fleeting sense of victory followed by a lifetime of haunting pain.

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It sounds like a pain you know all too well

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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You know I do not know whether to be afraid or slightly enamoured by the oddness of WoT ... to balance Phosphor, I'll throw in with kumquat ... I mean it's a no brainer at this point ... ;):(

 

FLoSD.ObE

The universe is change;
your life is what our thoughts make it
- Marcus Aurelius (161)

:dragon:

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I vote for the simian. Although I think K3 might get a good lick or two in, once the chimp tastes blood, its over. Although if you arm K3 with a banana he might be able to pull off the biggest upset since Buster Douglas.

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Jaguars4ever is still alive.  No word of a lie.

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Hmm, difficult to decide.

 

I'd have to see K3 in action first. I know chimps can be brutal, anyone see the muscles on Chimps? They're ginormous! Limber and strong, supple and flexible.

 

Er...anyways, I say some people take K3 out for a few drinks then continually poke him with a stick when he's nice and drunk. Keep badgering him and laugh in his face and all that. Then video tape it when he finally explodes into the fighting fury he has buried deep down within him.

 

Who knows maybe the Chimp will forfeit when faced with that image of K3 violently assaulting parking meters and SUVs on the street.

 

I know you have it in you Kumquat!

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