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Funny Stuff: The Funny Awakens


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"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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I suppose it's remotely funny, especially considering "respectable" media hasn't changed much in 100+ years in bogus predictions. 😏

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“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” 

-Ulysses S. Grant

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8 hours ago, ComradeYellow said:

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I suppose it's remotely funny, especially considering "respectable" media hasn't changed much in 100+ years in bogus predictions. 😏

By far not the only ones who got predictions about the future wrong...

 

1) 1876: "The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys." William Preece, British Post Office (After several evolutions, the introduction of the telemessage in 1982 effectively ended the need for messenger boys).

2) 1876: "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication." William Orton, President of Western Union (Today there are estimated to be over 9 billion mobile phones in circulation, more than the number of people in the world).

3) 1889: “Fooling around with alternating current (AC) is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.” Thomas Edison (Following the ‘war of the currents’ of the 1880’s with George Westinghouse, AC is now used worldwide).

4) 1903: “The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty, a fad.” President of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford’s lawyer, Horace Rackham, not to invest in the Ford Motor Company (Today there are estimated to be a billion cars on the roads around the world).

5) 1943: "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM (Today there are estimated to be two billion computers in use around the world).

6) 1946: "Television won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." Darryl Zanuck, 20th Century Fox (Today there is estimated to be at least one television set in 1.4 billion households around the world).

7) 1955: "Nuclear powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years." Alex Lewyt, President of the Lewyt Vacuum Cleaner Company (While the product has become a reality, it is not used by many due to the dangers of nuclear power, highlighted by the Chernobyl disaster of 1986).

8) 1959: "Before man reaches the moon, your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to Australia by guided missiles.  We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.” Arthur Summerfield, U.S. Postmaster General (Man landed on the moon in 1969, while rocket mail has still to become a reality).

9) 1966: "Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop.” Time Magazine (Amazon online has reached over $200 billion turnover over the last several years).

10) 1981: “Cellular phones will absolutely not replace local wire systems.” Marty Cooper, inventor (There are estimated to be just over a billion landlines worldwide compared to 9 billion mobile phones).

11) 1995: "I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse." Robert Metcalfe, founder of 3Com (In 2019 an estimated 4.13 billion people have regular internet access).

12) 1996: "Apple is a chaotic mess without a strategic vision and certainly no future."- TIME Magazine (As of 2019, Apple's net worth has been sitting around $940 billion).

13) 1997: "I'd shut Apple down and give the money back to the shareholders."- Michael Dell, founder and CEO of Dell, Inc. (As of early 2020, Apple’s share price is over $300).

14) 2004: "Two years from now, spam will be solved." Bill Gates (Today 90% of all emails sent are categorised as spam).

15) 2005: "There's just not that many videos I want to watch." Steve Chen, CTO and co-founder of YouTube expressing concerns about his company’s long term viability (The total number of hours of video watched on YouTube each month is estimated to be approx. 3.25 billion).

16) 2006: "Everyone's always asking me when Apple will come out with a cell phone.  My answer is, 'Probably never.'" David Pogue, The New York Times (The first iPhone was released in 2007 and since then over 2.2 billion handsets have been sold worldwide).

17) 2007: “There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share.” Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO (Approx. more than 40% of mobile phone handsets are believed to be iPhones).

Sources https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertszczerba/2015/01/05/15-worst-tech-predictions-of-all-time/#7f5456812997

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“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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"The Pub-Quiz. A unique British invention that combines two of the UK's greatest loves. Drink, and being Right."

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"The man of virtuous soul commands not, nor obeys. Power, like a desolating pestilence, pollutes whate'er it touches; and obedience, bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, makes slaves of men, and of the human frame a mechanized automaton."

P.B. Shelley

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