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Funny Stuff: The Funny Awakens


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19 hours ago, Raithe said:

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This isn't really funny, but I think the most ambitious crossover was still WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT.  In both the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Supernatural case, they were ultimately dealing with in-house issues (Marvel and WB respectively).  WFRR had to deal with (from memory) 5 different companies that didn't always like each other and their extensive rules for how their characters had to be portrayed to create a relatively comprehensive Toon Town (with some notable exceptions like Casper and Popeye) so that cartoon characters could seemingly exist in a human world.

...

I know this isn't really a funny post, but this post made me think, which probably isn't a good idea.

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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I was abducted by Cthulhu cultists that were mimes...

They did unspeakable things.

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault!”

----

An oldie but still true.

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the Pub

and it's a 45-minute walk from the Pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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A halfling stumbled out of the pub.

He was a little drunk

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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22 hours ago, rjshae said:

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault!”

----

An oldie but still true.

I nominate this as the greatest post in the 21 year history of this board!

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"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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Star Wars is Bullsh*t! – Lies Science Fiction Taught Me About Strategic Planning – The Angry Staff Officer

The Star Wars saga is iconic, whether it’s the original movies or the much deliberated prequels and sequels. Love them or hate them, each movie has iconic scenes that ensnare the mind. I was too young to see the original trilogy in theaters, but I saw the prequels and sequels in theaters and all nine movies sold me a tale of heroism and bravery. But they also sold me the idea that battles and wars were won by a handful of General Officers sitting around a table making detailed decisions about the war.

What a crock of ****.

Sure, Generals and Admirals drive the conflict. They have the big, overarching vision of how the war should go. That said, they aren’t tacticians and Star Wars lied to me!

It’s not the Generals and Admirals, resplendent in their perfectly pressed uniforms or artfully crafted Rebel style, who write strategy. No, it’s some poor neglected Rebel equivalent of a staff weenie making best guesses in the back of an Empire cubical farm of Rebel hangar deck.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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2 hours ago, Skarpen said:

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Why is this funny?

It seems pretty tragic that somebody would waste 2 and a half years of their lives just so they could target the lgbt community. That's some pretty deep seeded bigotry.

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4 minutes ago, Hurlsnot said:

Why is this funny?

It seems pretty tragic that somebody would waste 2 and a half years of their lives just so they could target the lgbt community. That's some pretty deep seeded bigotry.

Edgelords need attention.

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Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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From a couple of years ago, an author declaiming on how cheesy book adverts can be, so they tried their hand at ultimate cheese...

 

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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mnskvlfsyno61.png

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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