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Funny Stuff: The Funny Strikes Back

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Anyone who has seen Fulci's Zombi 2 (aka Zombie Flesh Eaters) will remember the underwater zombie (that ends up fighting a shark).

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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HA! Good Fun!


"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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12 hours ago, Raithe said:

funny-house-on-an-island-as-a-zombie-she

Zombies don't need to breathe, I hope you made a moat on the seabed or something.


I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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12 minutes ago, Orogun01 said:

Zombies don't need to breathe, I hope you made a moat on the seabed or something.

can't believe am responding, but am thinking the pictured zombie apocalypse fortress is safe from all but a couple zombies who accidental ate rocks or kettlebells and even then am not sure what kinda range a zombie has on sense o'... whatever or however they sense prey. some kinda simple netting in the few places where would be possible for a floater to wash ashore might be your only concern as far as zombie incursions.

HA! Good Fun!

 


"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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1 hour ago, Gromnir said:

can't believe am responding, but am thinking the pictured zombie apocalypse fortress is safe from all but a couple zombies who accidental ate rocks or kettlebells and even then am not sure what kinda range a zombie has on sense o'... whatever or however they sense prey. some kinda simple netting in the few places where would be possible for a floater to wash ashore might be your only concern as far as zombie incursions.

HA! Good Fun!

 

I don't know if zombies would float as they have no air in their lungs...or lungs.


I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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I'm thinking you'd probably be completely safe from zombies depending on how far from shore that place is. Just basing that on bodies decaying at about twice the speed in water. I think Gromnir is probably correct about the only possible concern being a floater and even then who knows what condition it'd even arrive in. Suggestion, flush twice.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Orogun01 said:

I don't know if zombies would float as they have no air in their lungs...or lungs.

whether breathing or not, there will be air in the lungs 'cause nature abhors a vacuum. will be harder for the zombie to expel air as am assuming lungs don't work no more. corpses tend to float, and even when they eventual become complete waterlogged and sink, that hardly gives 'em the relative density which would be needed to actual "walk" anything approaching normal 'cross the bottom o' a lake, much less a sea or ocean. every current would push 'em 'round like rag dolls.  watch those videos o' astronaut training. takes astronauts a bit o' practice to walk on the moon, and such training tends to happen in swimming pools. takes practice. learning zombies is kinda contrary to the whole concept o' zombies.

'course zombies is magic, even when the explanation is s'posed science. if you need a zombie to walk across the sea floor, they will do so just as long as the story calls for such.  

"Just basing that on bodies decaying at about twice the speed in water."

'tween saltwater and any number o' carrion feasting sea creatures, one wonders how far a rapid decaying (and gas producing) corpse would get  if we is talking purposeful locomotion. 

am suspecting after every storm, the island fortress dweller would need check his/her nets, jic. some o' the strangest stuff washes ashore after storms.

HA! Good Fun!

 

Edited by Gromnir

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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1 hour ago, Orogun01 said:

I don't know if zombies would float as they have no air in their lungs...or lungs.

Corpses often float because the decomposing of tissue generates gas. Not going to link, but I'm sure youtube has a video somewhere of somebody brave/silly enough to kick the corpse of a dead animal, just for it to explode like an inflated balloon.

Edit: to stay a bit on topic...

mtiSBREAKING NEWSBRAIN EATING ZOMBIES INVADE WASHINGTON D.C AND DIE OF STARVATION,funny,USA,United States,zombies,brain

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“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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33 minutes ago, Gromnir said:

whether breathing or not, there will be air in the lungs 'cause nature abhors a vacuum. will be harder for the zombie to expel air as am assuming lungs don't work no more. corpses tend to float, and even when they eventual become complete waterlogged and sink, that hardly gives 'em the relative density which would be needed to actual "walk" anything approaching normal 'cross the bottom o' a lake, much less a sea or ocean. every current would push 'em 'round like rag dolls.  watch those videos o' astronaut training. takes astronauts a bit o' practice to walk on the moon, and such training tends to happen in swimming pools. takes practice. learning zombies is kinda contrary to the whole concept o' zombies.

'course zombies is magic, even when the explanation is s'posed science. if you need a zombie to walk across the sea floor, they will do so just as long as the story calls for such.  

"Just basing that on bodies decaying at about twice the speed in water."

'tween saltwater and any number o' carrion feasting sea creatures, one wonders how far a rapid decaying (and gas producing) corpse would get  if we is talking purposeful locomotion. 

am suspecting after every storm, the island fortress dweller would need check his/her nets, jic. some o' the strangest stuff washes ashore after storms.

HA! Good Fun!

 

It does beg the question of how zombies groan and moan when their lungs should be dessicated.
Also what if the virus is cross species? Could you live surrounded by zombie sharks?

 

19 minutes ago, Gorth said:

Corpses often float because the decomposing of tissue generates gas. Not going to link, but I'm sure youtube has a video somewhere of somebody brave/silly enough to kick the corpse of a dead animal, just for it to explode like an inflated balloon.

Edit: to stay a bit on topic...

mtiSBREAKING NEWSBRAIN EATING ZOMBIES INVADE WASHINGTON D.C AND DIE OF STARVATION,funny,USA,United States,zombies,brain

Forgot about that, can bodies even create gases underwater? What if the zombie already went through that process? Anyways, you convinced me that we have a lack of farting zombies in media right now.


I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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1 hour ago, Orogun01 said:

Forgot about that, can bodies even create gases underwater? What if the zombie already went through that process?

Yes, that's why drowned people eventually "float" to the surface once decomposition sets in. But the latter part raises an interesting question. Lots of effort has gone into how fast radioactive isotopes decompose. What is the halflife of a zombie? I.e. at what point would it have decomposed so much that it is no longer a zombie? 🤔

 

Does gender and body mass affect the halflife of zombies?


“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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Skeletons exist for a reason... I know 'skeleton movies' is not exactly a popular movie trope though. L0L


DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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1 hour ago, Gorth said:

Yes, that's why drowned people eventually "float" to the surface once decomposition sets in. But the latter part raises an interesting question. Lots of effort has gone into how fast radioactive isotopes decompose. What is the halflife of a zombie? I.e. at what point would it have decomposed so much that it is no longer a zombie? 🤔

 

Does gender and body mass affect the halflife of zombies?

I've had to suspend my disbelief plenty a time when I think that a decomposed body wouldn't have the mandibular strength to bite through anything. 28 days later zombies make sense but everything else feels like fantasy realm to me. But we are forgetting "Night of the Living Dead" which aside form a lovely scene by Linnea Quingley, shows some measure of zombie intelligence. So what if zombies are intelligent enough to use boats?


I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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Posted (edited)

well, speaking of zombies and water, lets not forget that water is very hard to move in if you are walking and the pressure at the bottom of the sea is really big. unless it swims to minimize drag, it would take a zombie several months of walking at the bottom of the sea to reach the island IF it can overcome the forces exerted on it and isn't swept away by currents... and doesn't rot to be just a pile of bones in the meantime

Edited by teknoman2

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

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6 hours ago, Volourn said:

Skeletons exist for a reason... I know 'skeleton movies' is not exactly a popular movie trope though. L0L

6 hours ago, Orogun01 said:

I've had to suspend my disbelief plenty a time when I think that a decomposed body wouldn't have the mandibular strength to bite through anything. 28 days later zombies make sense but everything else feels like fantasy realm to me. But we are forgetting "Night of the Living Dead" which aside form a lovely scene by Linnea Quingley, shows some measure of zombie intelligence. So what if zombies are intelligent enough to use boats?

I believe you mean "The Return of the Living Dead", "Night of the Living Dead" is the '68 original.

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I know about Argonauts. In fact, I thought about them when I posted. There is also part 3 to Bruce Campbell's series that highlights, but still zombies crush them in terms of popularity.

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DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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Skeletons don't eat brains, so are they really a threat? They seem to play the jester role in the undead hierarchy. :skull:

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Seems like from now on anyone posting zombies should have to provide the rules by which those zombies function

Or, I guess, we could just establish some defaults 🤪


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