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Amentep

FUNNY STUFF THREAD

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man onion really had some divination skills back than xD

 

 

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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86307949_2558571687734863_63966913230463

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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Once there was a a loud mouthed hyena. He spent his days mocking all the other animals on the savanna, even the the Lion king.

One day the lioness asked the King "Why do you let that stupid hyena taunt you like that? You are the king. Do something about him"

"Just leave him be" the King replied "He isn't hurting anyone. Just let it go"

However the lioness felt the need to teach that hyena a lesson so she began to chase him.

The chase went on for miles and eventually the hyena led her to a fallen, hollow tree trunk and ran through it. The lioness tried to follow but got firmly stuck half way in.

The hyena then got behind her, mounted her and had his way with her.

Once he finished and left she got herself unstuck and walked home ashamed. 

She found the king waiting for her.

He sighed and said "He took you to the tree didn't he?"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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For the Radiohead fans out there....

 

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/238087445961375744/680261475063037998/86757890_2902072763192758_8181415753983983616_n.jpg

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“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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Unlimited-Data-Geordi-Star-Trek-Next-Gen

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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87067461_10223280916397687_1455600004713

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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An old hilbilly was walking back to his truck from fishing in the lake. In his hand was a bucket of fish he had caught. 

Seeing him coming out of the woods a young game warden stopped him.

"Mind if I look at your catch" The game warden asked as he looked in the bucket

"I'm afraid these fish are out of season and under sized" the warden told the old man. "I'm going to have to place you under arrest"

"Wait," said the old hillbilly. "I didn't catch these. They are my pet fish"

"Pet fish?" Said the warden with a laugh

"Sure" replied the old man. Every week I bring them to the lake to swim and exercise then call them back to the bucket and take them home." 

Not believing a word of it the game warden demanded the old man prove it. So they walked back to the lake together.

When they reached the lake the old man dumped the fish back in, turned the bucket upside down and sat one it. 

After a few moments the game warden asked him "Aren't you going to call them back?"

"Call what back" Asked the old hillbilly.

"Your fish" said the game warden.

"What fish?"

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"Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

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84338974_1074261149573359_13583677819925

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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83888645_2524559547656152_37187885598391

 

PS: It really, actually exists...

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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