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The Blockbuster Oscar Bait Movie Thread


Amentep

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On 6/10/2019 at 5:52 AM, Guard Dog said:

Watched the Bruce Willis version of Death Wish last night. It sucked. Completely and totally and thoroughly. The 1974 Charles Bronson movie was great. This grease fire was as far from great as it gets. 

The original was pretty lousy I found.  For true garbage, watch Death Wish 3, Bronson was just phoning it in there.

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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Death Wish 3 is hilarious.  Bronson phoning it in (he wasn't happy with the script as I recall) only adds to its charms.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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6 hours ago, majestic said:

 

;)

Definitely not going to watch an hour breakdown on why a two hour movie wasn't good. I probably agree with a lot of the points, but my first point would be that it isn't worth the time. :p

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5 hours ago, Malcador said:

The original was pretty lousy I found.  For true garbage, watch Death Wish 3, Bronson was just phoning it in there.

Thesis statement: Sequels to one off movies always suck.

Supporting argument 1: Rocky II - V

Supporting argument 2: Dirty Harry II - IV

Supporting argument 3: Death Wish II - ?

Exception that proves the rule: Bladerunner 2049

Conclusion: Sequels to one off movies always suck.

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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My memory is that MAGNUM FORCE was well received; not as well as DIRTY HARRY, but a positive critical reaction.

Also what about ROCKY BALBOA on your ROCKY film list? :p

 

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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8 hours ago, Hurlshot said:

Definitely not going to watch an hour breakdown on why a two hour movie wasn't good. I probably agree with a lot of the points, but my first point would be that it isn't worth the time. :p

It also would've probably made more sense to link the real RLM review instead of the Plinkett Review that switches between good points and hyperbole and mocking all the people who were getting comically outraged by what's just yet another bad remake and calling it "the worst thing ever" at the time.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

It also would've probably made more sense to link the real RLM review instead of the Plinkett Review that switches between good points and hyperbole and mocking all the people who were getting comically outraged by what's just yet another bad remake and calling it "the worst thing ever" at the time.

Well that one's clocking in at 45 minutes, not sure that's much better in terms of length.

 

However I think that Hurlshot hasn't watched a Mr. Plinkett review yet if he thinks it's wasting an hour on a two hour movie. They tend to have a similar effect like Summoning Salt's speedrun videos or Joseph Anderson's 3 hour game critiques. From a disbelieving "I'm sure not going to watch a three hour breakdown of why Super Mario Odysee wasn't as good as other Mario games" to watching the first ten minutes to ending up watching a 20 minute documentary about a single Mario Bros. stage:

 

Heh.

 

No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.

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21 hours ago, Guard Dog said:

Thesis statement: Sequels to one off movies always suck.

Supporting argument 1: Rocky II - V

Supporting argument 2: Dirty Harry II - IV

Supporting argument 3: Death Wish II - ?

Exception that proves the rule: Bladerunner 2049

Conclusion: Sequels to one off movies always suck.

could choose other examples, but the most obvious example to disprove suggested rule is, silence of the lambs

HA! Good Fun!

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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They Come Knocking. Boring tbh, wouldn't reccomend unless you don't have anything better to do for an hour and a half or enjoy modern b horror flicks. 

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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5 hours ago, majestic said:

Well that one's clocking in at 45 minutes, not sure that's much better in terms of length.

However I think that Hurlshot hasn't watched a Mr. Plinkett review yet if he thinks it's wasting an hour on a two hour movie. They tend to have a similar effect like Summoning Salt's speedrun videos or Joseph Anderson's 3 hour game critiques. From a disbelieving "I'm sure not going to watch a three hour breakdown of why Super Mario Odysee wasn't as good as other Mario games" to watching the first ten minutes to ending up watching a 20 minute documentary about a single Mario Bros. stage:

Heh.

But it probably provides a better overview of their thoughts on the movie (yes, they hated it, but it's not "the worst thing ever", and the fact that a bunch of internet nerds got up in such a furor over it just provided it more notoriety than it really deserved - if people want to enjoy some bad gender-swapped reboot of a beloved comedy, it's probably better to just let them and not make a big deal out of it...and this principle probably applies to almost anything).

Also, sadly, not everyone is as interested in video essays as some of us.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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we weren't interested enough to see the new ghostbusters movie. am certain not intrigued enough to watch a 45-minute video review o' a movie we never bothered to see.  over the years folks has questioned our judgement and sanity, but we ain't that far gone... yet.

am recalling brick got mention months past.

turns out the flick were added to netflix streaming in june, for anybody still curious.

HA! Good Fun!

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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5 hours ago, Gromnir said:

could choose other examples, but the most obvious example to disprove suggested rule is, silence of the lambs

HA! Good Fun!

Not really a one off though. Those were adaptations of Harris's other novels. The original Death Wish was also adapted from a novel. So many liberties were taken with the story the author disavowed the movie IIRC. I'm sure he still cashed his rights check though. 

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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8 minutes ago, Guard Dog said:

Not really a one off though. Those were adaptations of Harris's other novels. The original Death Wish was also adapted from a novel. So many liberties were taken with the story the author disavowed the movie IIRC. I'm sure he still cashed his rights check though. 

am admitted increasing unclear what you mean by a one-off. silence o' the lambs were not envisioned as the sequel to manhunter when manhunter were made. silence o' the lambs novel weren't even written at the time manhunter were made into a film. were, at the time, a one-off, no? any o' the mad max films? the director o' mad max had no plans to do a sequel to mad max 'til a couple hollywood deals fell apart. and aliens?

HA! Good Fun!  

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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4 hours ago, Gromnir said:

am certain not intrigued enough to watch a 45-minute video review o' a movie we never bothered to see. 

Well, it's shorter than the actual movie and at the end of it you basically know everything about it, which means you won't have to watch it anymore. Kinda a win-win situation if you are curious about it, but not that curious.

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6 hours ago, Gromnir said:

am admitted increasing unclear what you mean by a one-off. silence o' the lambs were not envisioned as the sequel to manhunter when manhunter were made. silence o' the lambs novel weren't even written at the time manhunter were made into a film. were, at the time, a one-off, no? any o' the mad max films? the director o' mad max had no plans to do a sequel to mad max 'til a couple hollywood deals fell apart. and aliens?

HA! Good Fun!  

Well, I was thinking movies like Rocky and Die Hard as being one off. They were not adapted from novels, or a series of novels with a continuing charterer(s). The first one had success so they keep yanking on that teat as long as milk comes out even though the creative concept becomes a parody of itself. Aliens is an exception. It was equal to Alien in quality. Definitely some seriously diminishing quality after that though. I've never seen the original Mad Max. I thought Road Warrior and the one with Tina Turner were weapons grade stupid though. 

Edited by Guard Dog

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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Original Mad Max is very different from The Road Warrior as society hasn't collapsed completely and Max is a cop on an increasingly brutal police force facing crooks who are becoming increasingly brutal and anarchic. Its a different kind of film, although if you didn't like The Road Warrior I'm not convinced you'd think Mad Max is any better. Also Beyond Thunderdome began life as a script without Mad Max in it; he was added later.

Death Wish (the novel, 1972) had a sequel,  Death Sentence (1975), that came out before Death Wish II (1982), the film sequel to Death Wish (1974).  So its a bit like the Red Dragon/Manhunter - Silence of the Lambs/Silence of the Lambs situation.  Death Sentence was written specifically because Brian Garfield was disappointed in the film version of Death Wish, though and this novel eventually received an adaption as a stand alone film in 2007 with Kevin Bacon and directed by James Wan.  Death Wish II only took a small amount of inspiration from the sequel novel.

Die Hard was based on the 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever which was a sequel to an earlier novel, The Detective, both by Roderick Thorpe and featuring the character of John Leland.  Similar to the use of On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers to make Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the sequel Die Hard 2 is based on the 1987 novel 58 Minutes by Walter Wager.

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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14 minutes ago, Hurlshot said:

I find myself unable to really watch anything in the youtube style of video for more than a few minutes. I realize this makes me a cantankerous old man now.

I like the editing style where every sentence gets a cut, a shade better than the style where they somehow expound on one point for 12 minutes.  At least Youtube is recommending me less "angry geek rages against $anything" videos these days.

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Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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46 minutes ago, Hurlshot said:

I find myself unable to really watch anything in the youtube style of video for more than a few minutes. I realize this makes me a cantankerous old man now.

Don't worry, you're in good company!

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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53 minutes ago, Amentep said:

Original Mad Max is very different from The Road Warrior as society hasn't collapsed completely and Max is a cop on an increasingly brutal police force facing crooks who are becoming increasingly brutal and anarchic. Its a different kind of film, although if you didn't like The Road Warrior I'm not convinced you'd think Mad Max is any better. Also Beyond Thunderdome began life as a script without Mad Max in it; he was added later.

Death Wish (the novel, 1972) had a sequel,  Death Sentence (1975), that came out before Death Wish II (1982), the film sequel to Death Wish (1974).  So its a bit like the Red Dragon/Manhunter - Silence of the Lambs/Silence of the Lambs situation.  Death Sentence was written specifically because Brian Garfield was disappointed in the film version of Death Wish, though and this novel eventually received an adaption as a stand alone film in 2007 with Kevin Bacon and directed by James Wan.  Death Wish II only took a small amount of inspiration from the sequel novel.

Die Hard was based on the 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever which was a sequel to an earlier novel, The Detective, both by Roderick Thorpe and featuring the character of John Leland.  Similar to the use of On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers to make Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the sequel Die Hard 2 is based on the 1987 novel 58 Minutes by Walter Wager.

That is cool stuff... I didn't know most of this

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"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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7 hours ago, Guard Dog said:

Well, I was thinking movies like Rocky and Die Hard as being one off. They were not adapted from novels, or a series of novels with a continuing charterer(s). The first one had success so they keep yanking on that teat as long as milk comes out even though the creative concept becomes a parody of itself. Aliens is an exception. It was equal to Alien in quality. Definitely some seriously diminishing quality after that though. I've never seen the original Mad Max. I thought Road Warrior and the one with Tina Turner were weapons grade stupid though. 

Aliens was **** tbh.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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2 hours ago, KaineParker said:

Aliens was **** tbh.

In some ways I like Alien 3 more than Aliens, because at least it tried to go back to what Alien was about, while Aliens just added more of everything (more aliens, more guns, more action). Lots of popular movies and games did this back then... no matter the original concept, the sequel had to be MORE OF EVERYTHING, capitalized. Another popular example that bugs me till today is the transition from Resident Evil 1 to 2. Same thing, really... more zombies, more weapons, more action, and missing what the original was about.

"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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