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The Funny Stuff thread


Amentep

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

 

"A ...few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

 

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

 

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

 

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

 

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

 

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of ****. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

 

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

 

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a **** was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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There's no guarantee the person taking the picture is a guy. Also, there are such things as cameras you can set on a timer.

 

Edit: Also, "third guy" implies that both people in bed are male. 

Edited by Keyrock
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🇺🇸RFK Jr 2024🇺🇸

"Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks

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Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

 

"A ...few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

 

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

 

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

 

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

 

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

 

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of ****. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

 

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

 

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a **** was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."

 

 

I wonder... Does Nate White consider his response "classy, charming, cool, credible, compassionate, witty, warm, wise, subtle, sensitive, full of self-awareness, humble, honourable and graceful? After all, he is British and should esteem all those qualities. Well can be, though, that he meant such qualities has to be demonstrated by anyone else but British people and they only reserve the right for esteeming them. From afar.

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Raithe trigg'ring fools like a boss, but anyway...



 

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.


Trolls are frequently hilarious, just not to those who are targeted by them.
 

We see it as having no inner world, no soul.
 
And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

 
Wow, British heroes are all... uh, fictional?
 
Which would be the single most pathetic thing ever, if Britain were so bereft of heroes they have to resort to literal fiction to find any. Of course, actually write down a list of British heroes and you get a different, but problematic, set of results which is why you get a list here of made up idealised people, from fiction.

 

To be fair, some on the British hero list would be like David; it was later King David, after all.
 

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.


Yep, whoever wrote this had no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion (OK, no evidence either way really), no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness (to quote the great philosopher Daniel Bryan: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"), no humility, no honour and no grace.
 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

 
...
 
Yes, the British Empire... happened... because... the British... hate... bullies...
 
:roflcopters"
 
..."no self-awareness"

 

And let's be honest here, any list of actually existed British heroes will have an awful number of objective bullies on it, that's just the nature of such things.
 

Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.


lolwut? You can argue niceness vs politeness I guess, but even then, lolwut? Can't even keep the clichés straight.
 

[stuff]

Gotta be frank, it reads like he has his head rammed up his fundamental alimentary egress port. And I don't even disagree with the gist of it, Trump's a prize knob much like all politicians and worse than most. That, however, is the sort of hypocritical diatribe which is squarely aimed at making the writer feel superior, it's basically masturbation in written form and the writer lacks even the most basic ability to self edit for consistency. Him accusing anyone else- even Trump- of having no self awareness is ludicrous.

 

On the positive side, every British hero being fictional was pretty funny as was the British hating bullies, even if were utterly unintentionally funny. Kind of wish it were trolling, as it would work decently that way.

Edited by Zoraptor
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52522635_2076988025728336_30447545515266

Meh. Should have taken them away permanently.

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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