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#41
Magister Lajciak

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It worked well indeed! :sorcerer:

#42
SirPetrakus

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So a few years ago me and a few mates started playing the D20 Call of Cthullu campaign setting, which sucked but I promised I'd give it a try.

I had missed most of the sessions since I was reluctant to take part in it. Call me predisposed or biased, I had my reasons. Most sessions ended for the group with them running half beaten and half naked through the Mojave desert. Yeah, it sounded just as obscure and ridiculous to me. Anyway, I was playing a cowboy styled preacher, a la the Korean manha, Priest, just less psychotic. Anyway, the band was on the tracks of a cult that used the Mojave desert (go figure) as a sacred ground for their abysmal deeds. When we got there, most of the paganists were involved in sexual acts with numerous partners and sacrificing goats. If this was supposed to be a Cthullu campaign, it was more near the grounds of a potential bad slasher film were youths enjoyed premarital sex and then got killed.

Moving on, there was a sand hill and some paganists were gathered there next to an altar and were chanting. So, this abomination gets conjured with multiple human limbs that staggeringly walks towards. This was more like it. So the GM decided that save rolls needed to be made both for our sanity and our stomachs. Most of the party members managed to keep their insides in, but not all of them managed to keep their wits about. Thankfully, I was carrying a shotgun, loaded. So, I get near the creep and shoot it a couple of times and it went down, while the cultists ran away. What a bunch of pansies! I was expecting fanatics here a la warhammer!

So, after killing off the the monster, a pyramid surfaces. Yes, in the Mojave desert. I know!

- Congratulations on killing the abomination, but it seems it just started getting interesting. There is a loud tremor and something seems to be coming out from the desert floor. It seems to be a pyramid.
- A pyramid ...
- Yes.
- In the Mojave desert.
- Yes.
- You're serious!
- Listen man, you've been negative about this since we started out, either go with the flow or leave OK?
- Alright! Just that a pyramid in the Mojave desert IS a little ... you know.
- Fine! Noted! So what do you guys do?
- Well, I brought dynamite along, I say we find what they want to do, rig the place and blow them all up.
- I say we start running. NAO!
- Why? I mean, it's a pyramid, I know, but it's just a structure!
- Yes, but what's in the pyramid?
- ... I ... have no idea?
- Exactly! And I wanna keep it that way!
- So you're playing Call of Cthullu and you see a pyramid and you're just gonna walk away?
- Who said anything about walking? I'm gonna run like hell! Anyone with me?
- Hell, yeah!
- Me too!
- So you're just gonna leave this to me? Thanks guys! :ermm:

So I go inside the pyramid to find a summoning chamber with lots of pillars. I rig the pillars, wait for the cultists and blow the pyramid up. Having successfully thwarted the cult's plans, I get back to the car we came in with, drove back to our hotel and promptly found the rest of the group sipping hot cocoa and asking what took me so long.

:o :bat:

FYI, it was the same group I played Planescape with, which made me even more reluctant to play with them in the first place.

#43
steelfiredragon

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lame.

would have been better if the cultists were all half naked women....... with psychopathic looks in their eyes

#44
SirPetrakus

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Well , here's another little story with Odysseas, happened during a dungeon run-through. We found ourselves in a chamber with what seemed to be a bathtub in the middle and a locked door on the North wall. The bathtub seems to be filled with something, but it looks very translucent. At the bottom of the bathtub there is a faint golden gleam.

- So what do you guys do?
- I cut a piece of my rope and throw it in.
- The piece of rope you threw in seems to be falling at a very slow pace.
- Aha! So whatever this thing is, anything that passes through it gets slowed down!
- Well, that's a relief! I jump in to get the gleaming gold object.
- OK! So Odysseas jumps in and you see him go down to the bottom at a veeeeeery slow pace. Odysseas, what you perceived as a foot to the bottom of the tub now seems to be 100 feet.
- WHAT? How is that even possible?
- Why not make an Int check and see if you can figure it out?
*rolls and fails*
- Well, that didn't work. What do you do now?
- I start screaming.
- OK, while Odysseas falls inevitably to his doom you hear him scream as he drops slowly by another inch. Roll Int checks to see if anyone of you gets the idea.
*Cleric rolls and succeeds*
- So, you now realize, with conducting a small experiment, that whatever this thing in the bathtub is, isn't liquid, it is in fact a spell that diffract the light, making anything underneath the surface look like it is much higher than it actually is. You also realize that it took you so long to realize this that it is already too late to lower the rope and save Odysseas. You hear a loud "splat" as he reaches the bottom.

Not the most fun death he ever had but he sure had a knack for dying.

#45
Walsingham

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Ah explosives... is there anything they can't solve?*


We had been planning a dungeon crawl for some time, but on the day I was the only player. The referee said I could try, but the odds were poor. I pondered this for a while and said I would, on condition he'd let me have a half dozen chickens, four gallons jars of lamp oil, a basting tube and a pouch of rolling tobacco and self-sticking fairy wings (rizlas). Thus proving a personal maxim which is it is best to not tell the ref what you're planning.

1. Two crossbow bolts and I'm past the bored goblins at the tunnel entrance.

2. I hear a troll talking to itself in the tunnel down. Down goes one jar of lamp oil. glug glug glug. "Hoy, rockfoot!" Burning troll. A bit of poking with a spear. Hi-di-ho, and on we go.

3. A guard room. Double-quick the basting syringe is filled with lamp oil, and one unlucky chicken receives it the way a T-54 receives an A-10 warthog. A roll-up is
tethered to the chicken's tail feathers and lit. Finally the chicken is shoved around the door, where it proceeds to flap about, spraying flaming lamp oil over everything and generally causing chaos. In the melee two more chickens are introduced, followed by my dwarven tunnel-fighter who proceeds to fillet the four guards.

4a. By this time the alarm has been raised if that's the right word, by the noise of explosive (literally) diahorrea. I can hear a range of goblinoids forming up around the corner. I lay down my second to last jar of oil on the floor. On the near side of the oil I leave a trussed live chicken, that has once again had its innards prematurely pickled. In its beak is clamped a lit cigarette. I weigh down its feet with a fallen sword, keeping it in a standing position, and retreat to a safe distance.

4b. On come the goblins, with the weakest in number at the front. They cross the lamp oil. One goes to pick up the chicken, but being food, it goes to the largest one (the chief), who unceremoniously bites its throat out. Out sprays the lamp oil, and down goes the cigarette. Flambe.

Naturally I realised at this point that I still couldn't win so I ran off. The referee objects to my use of the chickens as out of character, to which I obviously replied that it was normal practice among dwarven tunnel fighters, and that for this reason the ancient dwarf lords traded first with humans. A fast, and or capacious chicken being worth its weight in mithril.

I received full session experience points.

#46
SirPetrakus

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Same DM as in the CoC campaign ... he was such a douche! We're playing 3E D&D and I've made a wizard with incredibly high Int, Wis and Cha scores, but very low Con, Dex and Str. We started at level 3 and all I asked for equipment was a heavy robe( AC+2) and the Standard Adventuring Gear (a.k.a. Bedroll, torch, 10' pole, flint and steel, grappling hook, 10' hemp rope). DM says fine. Our first quest was to explore an abandoned keep, infested with skeletons. It all went wrong when I started to climb the outer wall.

Me: Well, my skill bonus is -3 because of -2 strength and -1 from the robe ... the DC is 16 so I need a 19 or higher to climb the wall. I use my grappling hook for a bonus.
DM: What grappling hook?
Me: The one from my S.A.G.
DM: You didn't ask for it to be there.
Me: How did I not ask? It's in the SAG!
DM: Yes, but you didn't ask specifically what's in it.
Me: *sigh* So what DO I have in my SAG?
DM: Bedroll and a torch.
Me: What? Just that?
DM: Yeah.
Me: What's the point of writing Standard Adventuring Gear as my equipment if all I have is 2 things? Why not just write bedroll and torch? It defeats the purpose!
DM: I dunno, you wrote it there ...
Me: *sigh again* Fine! I take 20! When we hit town, first thing I do is go buy a rope and a grappling hook, OK?
DM: Fine by me!

So we clear the keep and we head back to town which gets hit by a tornado.

DM: So what do you guys do?
Guy1: Hold on to something solid.
Guy2: Same
Guy3: Me too
Me: Hide in the basement and tie myself on something nailed down.
DM: With what?
Me: The rope I bought as soon as I came into town ...
DM: Yes, but we didn't really play that.
Me: But I told you that I wrote it when we got back! I even subtracted the money ...
DM: Too bad! The tornado hits the inn and starts tearing of the planks. Roll STR check DC 17 to hold on to something.
Me: Even me?
DM: Yes, even you.
Me: I'm in the frigging basement!
DM: Yeah, the door just broke off. Roll DC 17
Me: But I have a -3 on the roll! I can only make it on a 20!
DM: Shame!
*rolls a 16*
DM: Ooooh, you're dead!

What a frigging douche!

#47
Gorth

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Have you seen "Final Destination"? :)

Sounds like he had it in for you no matter what.

#48
SirPetrakus

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Have you seen "Final Destination"? :)

Sounds like he had it in for you no matter what.

He hated me. xD

No idea why.

Edited by SirPetrakus, 05 December 2008 - 07:10 AM.


#49
Amentep

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :( My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)


At 13 (or was I 11?), in one of the few DMing sessions I ever did, I had all the players quit on me when they met an elephant in a cavern.

In my defense, when I put the elephant in the cavern it made sense to ME, I just could never get that across to the players. :thumbsup:

Edited by Amentep, 05 December 2008 - 12:34 PM.


#50
SirPetrakus

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :( My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)


At 13 (or was I 11?), in one of the few DMing sessions I ever did, I had all the players quit on me when they met an elephant in a cavern.

In my defense, when I put the elephant in the cavern it made sense to ME, I just could never get that across to the players. :lol:


I'm a little afraid to ask ... why WAS the elephant in the cavern?

Edited by SirPetrakus, 06 December 2008 - 02:54 PM.


#51
Amentep

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I'm a little afraid to ask ... why WAS the elephant in the cavern?


Yeah, well remember I was 13 (or younger) when I did it, but the entire dungeon was originally a mine, and a section of the caves had weakened enough that an elephant had, in fact, managed to fall through the upper hill that the caves were in (HP were substracted for this even!) while walking around up there.

The problem was when I hadn't properly motivated WHY the Elephant had been walking over the hill in the first place! I'd just never thought that far ahead and the players called me on it. :ermm:

#52
Walsingham

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :fdevil: My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)


At 13 (or was I 11?), in one of the few DMing sessions I ever did, I had all the players quit on me when they met an elephant in a cavern.

In my defense, when I put the elephant in the cavern it made sense to ME, I just could never get that across to the players. :lol:


Makes sense to me. I remember when we had elephants turn up in our adventure. I maintained that they were the same size as shown in the encyclopaedia britannica. i.e 4 inches long.

#53
SirPetrakus

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I'm a little afraid to ask ... why WAS the elephant in the cavern?


Yeah, well remember I was 13 (or younger) when I did it, but the entire dungeon was originally a mine, and a section of the caves had weakened enough that an elephant had, in fact, managed to fall through the upper hill that the caves were in (HP were subtracted for this even!) while walking around up there.

The problem was when I hadn't properly motivated WHY the Elephant had been walking over the hill in the first place! I'd just never thought that far ahead and the players called me on it. :(


Well, if you put it like that, I guess it's normal. I really see nothing wrong with an elephant going up a hill. I mean, was there an elephant repellent device on the hill that made it impossible for elephants to go there? Elephants do walk, last time I checked. Sure, it's a large coincidence, but it isn't impossible. Your players were just nitpicking.

#54
Amentep

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I guess they felt that the place wasn't likely to be prone to Elephant infestations!

Still I was a terrible DM anyhow, so it was all well and good for me to stop. The only other time I dmed I bored everyone and they quit.

#55
SirPetrakus

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It was just one elephant. If they numbered like a termite colony then, yeah, probably. I haven't had my players give up on me though. I mean, with fun diversions like Odysseas, the next session can't come soon enough. Being split in half by a rotating wall had never been done before. Well, as far as I know.

#56
Amentep

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Yeah sadly we lacked entertaining players or characters in those sessions.

There some later like the player who had the genius to use his additional strength granted from bracers of giants strength to not carry more items but to lug around a corpse of something they'd kill in the dungeon to use as a trap shield (rolling the body into rooms to try and set off ground traps and the like) or the multiple personality disorder Gnome Illusionist whose other personalities were an Orc Barbarian (so he'd rush headlong into battle) and an Elven Princess (who would boss around the other players and refuse to do any manual labor).

#57
SirPetrakus

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I'd be very interested to hear more on that Gnome illusionist with the split personality. Sounds like a character made of win and gold. xD

#58
Rosbjerg

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Man, where are all the crazy stories people?? - surely there's someone out there who've experienced something truely weird in the realm of Roleplaying?

#59
Walsingham

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I haven't done any pnp in a while.

I guess the coolest thing to happen recently was in Cthulhu. We were playing WW1 doughboys, and - long story short - we got surprised and not at all pleased by a walking skeleton abomination. We all let fly with rifles, an LMG, and grenades to no effect. It just kept coming, inexorably closer. then one of the guys, the quiet one, freaks comletely, and bayonet charges it. Total fluke, massive critical, kills it stone deader. Referee gave us back sanity for seeing the darkness done down with cold steel. "They don't like it up 'em, Mr Mannering."

#60
Musopticon?

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Paizo's PFS module The Hydra's Fang Incident had the Pathfinders(a lodge of treasure hunters and general Indiana types) try to find a missing pirate captain and his ship and deal with some lost relics. Naturally every factions had their own stake in the matter, but as usual all Pathfinders decided to group hug and stick together for the most part.

Anyways, as it goes with dirty shore towns and pirates, finding Darziel's ship the Hydra's Fang included boarding a large rowing vessel we graciously accepted after greasing the local guardsmen. And naturally enough we had a couple of nasty encounters while on the craft and navigating the bays and tide pools of the natural waterfront. The first of these encounters started with our second ranger, Vasco noticing two dark shapes swiftly swimming towards our vessel, only to meet our readied party targeting all their bows and crossbows on them.

Unfortunately, Sahuagin are water-based creatures and, despite the waterfront being dumped full of waste thanks to the highly-refined early-Renaissance notion of enviromental preservation in Golarion, being subaquatic, they naturally decided to even the odds by trying to dip the boat.

At this point a chorus of "****s" met the gm, since everyone knows what will happen to a cleric in field plate, a barbarian in chainmail and everyone else wearing studded leather and armored kilts(yay for 1+ armor class, nay for rising the category from light to medium)) while being faced with a sudden Swim check. Everyone else except the daring Vasco, who dexterously run along the boat while it tripped, took a dip in the green jelly of the bay.

And it was about then that a certain person faced with gm-duties started to grin, chuckled at the collected angry faces and told them he had changed the water from "deep" to "chest-high" after getting enough of full-party deaths. Everyone sighed, started puking out the oily goo and taking shots at the fishmen.

Edited by Musopticon?, 02 February 2009 - 01:53 AM.





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