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#21
Walsingham

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I remember the early days. We were arsing about, and the GM said

GM "Right! The Gods are angry! A mountain falls on you!"
Pl1 "That's a bit harsh."
Pl2 "I parry!"
Pl1 "Parrying deflects all damage"
GM [rolls] "You successfully parry."
Pl1 "Don't want to have to do that twice. Better get back to the adventure."

#22
WILL THE ALMIGHTY

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I remember the early days. We were arsing about, and the GM said

GM "Right! The Gods are angry! A mountain falls on you!"
Pl1 "That's a bit harsh."
Pl2 "I parry!"
Pl1 "Parrying deflects all damage"
GM [rolls] "You successfully parry."
Pl1 "Don't want to have to do that twice. Better get back to the adventure."


:)

Brilliant.

Edited by WILL THE ALMIGHTY, 17 September 2008 - 06:20 PM.


#23
Rosbjerg

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I can just imagine the poor peasant working his fields next to this scene, going home to his village to tell the story of 2 mighty warriors, who had a mountain fall on them, only to push it aside like it was a twig, be called a lair and exiled from his village for thinking that people were stupid enough to believe that. :lol:

#24
SirPetrakus

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Another true story, band of adventurers traveling in the elven lands stumble upon an elven battle maiden trying to lay an ambush on some wayfarer orcs crossing the woods. Most of the party were in disguise and the dwarf had made an amazing job at disguising as a halfling. So, along with the battle maiden, the party tries to make a strategic plan on how to take down the orcs.

- So after the archers ambush them, me and the dwarf jump out of the foliage and attack them at close melee.
- Wait, dwarf? What dwarf?
- Me!
- You're not a dwarf! You're a halfling! I've lived long enough to know what dwarves look like.
- I roll diplomacy to convince her that I am indeed a dwarf.
*fails*
- Nope, she is adamant, you're a halfling true and true.
*dwarf grumbles*
- Well, I can't show myself without ruining the disguise ... I drop my pants.
- Wow! WOW! Wow ... OK you're a dwarf I believe you.

#25
steelfiredragon

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Another true story, band of adventurers traveling in the elven lands stumble upon an elven battle maiden trying to lay an ambush on some wayfarer orcs crossing the woods. Most of the party were in disguise and the dwarf had made an amazing job at disguising as a halfling. So, along with the battle maiden, the party tries to make a strategic plan on how to take down the orcs.

- So after the archers ambush them, me and the dwarf jump out of the foliage and attack them at close melee.
- Wait, dwarf? What dwarf?
- Me!
- You're not a dwarf! You're a halfling! I've lived long enough to know what dwarves look like.
- I roll diplomacy to convince her that I am indeed a dwarf.
*fails*
- Nope, she is adamant, you're a halfling true and true.
*dwarf grumbles*
- Well, I can't show myself without ruining the disguise ... I drop my pants.
- Wow! WOW! Wow ... OK you're a dwarf I believe you.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
reads again
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
falls off chair
ha ha ha haha ha ha ha

#26
SirPetrakus

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Another true story, we were looking into this affair about some magical item and such that was said to have great evil magical power. It was supposedly lost in an area where a large city used to be and now all the fallen were turning into undead. So on our way to the site, we encountered a Drow, there was this symbol on his forehead that symbolized him as one of the "Damned". He had set this trap up that sent logs flying onto us.

- Oh my God! I think I've got it!
- What? What is it?
- The Dam-ed, logs ... I know what he really is!
- You ... you do? *the DM*
- Yes! He is a BEAVER!

:thumbsup:

#27
WILL THE ALMIGHTY

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I think we all need to play one of Petrakus' DnD campaigns or our life will mean nothing.

#28
SirPetrakus

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I guess I have real weird teammates who generally wreck havoc wherever they go.

On a different note and setting, we were playing Vampire and we were hunting some people down, don't remember who or what they were exactly ... it was my first time in vampire, whatever they were, they needed to stay near a cemetery for some reason. So, as we are looking for clues, they suddenly appear in front of us, going inside a van and driving off. The party suddenly goes ballistic and want to start chasing them, what a better opportunity to find their hide out, but it so happens that the Malkavian had seen the GM's notes and knew where the others where hiding.

- Wait, wait, wait! Give me a map, I'll tell you where they live.
- What? Are you nuts? They're getting away! And they're right THERE!
- Hush! Where's the map?
- Here it is ...
- OK, so they live in a cemetery, right?
- Yeah ...
- Well, they obviously don't leave on the east side ...
- Why not?
- The sun rises from the east!
- Oh ...
- North is too cold ... West is overrated ... so they went South.
- Uh, OK, let's pretend that this actually makes sense to one of us, there are 5 cemeteries in the south, how do we know which one?
- That's easy! Ini mini maini mo *points the fourth one* It's the first one!
*pause*
- A perfect Malkavian explanation, you win 3 XP! :sorcerer:

#29
ramza

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I think we all need to play one of Petrakus' DnD campaigns or our life will mean nothing.


We happen to live in the same city and I have asked him whether I could join his gaming group. But, he apparently doesn't play p&p anymore... :sorcerer:

#30
SirPetrakus

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I think we all need to play one of Petrakus' DnD campaigns or our life will mean nothing.


We happen to live in the same city and I have asked him whether I could join his gaming group. But, he apparently doesn't play p&p anymore... :sorcerer:


I play from time to time, but the group I am with is currently busy with exams and I seem to have misplaced my small dice collection. About 14 different sets and another 20 random dices, mostly d10s and d12s. Even if we do play, getting from where I am to where you are, it's not easily accessible, especially since I don't have my own car. Nothing really hilarious has happened in neigh 4 years, well except for that rogue that ... oh! Well, maybe a story for next time! :D

Edited by SirPetrakus, 25 September 2008 - 04:53 AM.


#31
Walsingham

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he apparently doesn't play p&p anymore... :)


...And we can tell lieutenant Kaposki he can keep his stinking badge.

#32
SirPetrakus

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So, I was playing with a few friends, I had started out as the DM and decided with a player that we would switch sides once we reached lvl 10. i.e. he would become the DM and I would be a PC. Because the previous NPC I controlled bailed out on the story, I made a new character, a Sorcerer, at lvl 10. I asked him. the new DM, whether I should get money for equipment or if he would give me money to go buy what I wanted, he replied that he would give me things he thought were appropriate. Now, I hadn't played with this guy as a DM before, so I had no idea what he deemed appropriate. I got a pair of Bracers of armor +3, a ring of protection +3 and a longsword +1. The equipment was worth around ... let's see, Bracers of armor +3 is 8K, ring of protection +3 is another 8k and the longsword +1 is 2k. So I had 20k worth of equipment on me on lvl 10. Well, didn't really care, I had limitless fireballs and soon to get Cone of Cold so I didn't really bother.

4 levels later, the DM decided that Cone of Cold is a very abusive spell and that I shouldn't be able to cast it. I declined because I was level 15 and all I had to actually be useful was spells, since my magical items where all armor related and I could do better damage with a toothpick than my longsword, which I didn't know how to use cause I wasn't proficient with it ... go figure. So the DM agreed. I really wish he hadn't. Turns out, in order for my Cone of Cold spell to be utterly useless, he started bringing forth monsters that had SR near 40, which made it impossible for me to penetrate, therefore I was useless in any combat situation. Now, I was starting to complain because, basically, my Sorcerer was a nuker who couldn't nuke a fly, my buffs where largely inferior to those of the priest or the bard in our party and also didn't stack. But that can be forgiven if the story is good enough and I can use my linguistic skills to some degree ...

Did I mention that the DM loved dungeon crawling? We were constantly out one dungeon and into the other. Yeah ... Well, the poop didn't really hit the fan until he decided to throw a Balor against us. Specifically, a Pit Fiend. So, there were 4 of us, lvl 15, against a CR 21 Pit fiend, with the same equipment since lvl 10. Can you feel the greatness coming? One more thing, the DM was playing a fighter, who later turned Paladin and then into a Higher God's Avatar and his personality kept drifting from divine champion to fighter with anger management issues, plus he kept running off on his own, leaving us without a fighter. So the party was basically my sorcerer, the cleric and the bard. So there was actually 3 of us against the Pit Fiend. Easy mode.

Turns out, the Pit Fiend has a weapon resistance of +4/10, so no weapon of +4 or less could deal him damage unless we did at least 1 more than 10. The Cleric had a +3 weapon, the bard a +1 weapon with the wounding ability and I couldn't even wave goodbye at him.

- Uh, OK, I'm just gonna do the Pit Fiend a favor and throw a couple of fireballs at me so he won't have to get his hands dirty.
- Wait guys! We can do this!
- Do what? We can't even hit him!
- Look, my wounding ability can deal bleeding damage to him, all I have to do is hit him for more than 10 times!
- If we're even alive by then! The DM might not even accept the stacking wounding ability as one attack, rather than each 1 dmg as a separate attack!
- Uh, no, you guys go ahead, I'm OK with that!
- Right ... I'll go forward and try to tank, hope he attacks me instead of you guys, you'd be dead within a round.
- OK, I'll keep casting True Strike on you till I'm out of it just to make sure your attacks hit.

So the strategy actually worked, as long as I used True Strike, all the bard's attacks would hit, the Cleric was healing himself and us, whenever we were hit, and it seemed like we were actually gonna pull this one of, though it depleted us of HP, healing, buffs etc.

- As the Pit Fiend sees that you guys are too much of a threat to it, it gates another one in!
*pause*
- I fireball myself!
- Choke on Holy Symbol!
- Slit my wrists with longsword of wounding!

#33
Gorth

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That has a certain "Indiana Jones'que" flavour to it :)

From bad to worse to nightmare and then deteriorating.

#34
Walsingham

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :( My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)

#35
SirPetrakus

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That's the kind of GMing you do when you're 13 years old! :p My friend summed it up as a pointless exercise, since the GM can always win. (parries notwithstanding)



When I was 13, I gave my guys all sorts of awesome equipment, we could kill a God usually by level 3 cause it was so gratifying to decapitate a Tarrasque right from the start! We would eventually get bored and start over with different characters. This was more like a "You ate my cookie! No rewards for you!" kind of thing. This guy keeps to this day not giving us rewards, started a new game, got to level 7 and all I had to show for was a +1 longsword and a full plate. He either doesn't know how to roll drops or doesn't want to. For me, it was the most fun part of DMing, giving out cool stuff.

#36
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The one and only game of PnP D&D I played consisted of a party of 4 modified wizards going on some sort of quest that would stand in for the exam at their school. The group of four was supposed to pass through a portal and explore the surrounding area for a magic staff of something that I can't remember.

After going through the portal we found a couple empty rooms and a hallway that was blocked off by a huge pile of rubble. Being the haughty wizards that we were, we took the direct approach and started digging. Apparently the other groups that played this adventure were too high class for digging and summoned help to dig for them. Anyway, we cleared a hole in the rubble to crawl through. As the last of us was pulled through the tunnel a large floating fireball rounded a corner at the far end of the hallway and started to come towards us. We panicked like little school children and ran for cover. In the first room on the left was a large stone table that the four of us climbed up onto just as the fireball caught up to us. In moments it was joined by a second fireball.

Just picture this. 4 mages standing huddle in the centre of a large stone table that is being circled by a pair of floating fireballs. Since the unofficial motto of this group eventually became "Let's do something stupid!" someone decided to try to put out one of the fireballs. He had no water though. One guy decided to improvise.

"I drop my pants and urinate on one of the fireballs!"
"You what?!"
"I drop my pants and---"
*dm facepalm* "Roll 1d6. You succeed on a 6."
*player rolls a die. It was a 6* "Woo! Take that you stupid fireball!"
"The fireball stops circling the table and floats off into a corner. If it had feelings, it would probably be experiencing humiliation right now."

At this point we decided to make a break for it. One at a time we run out of the room, down the hall, around a corner and down another hall. In this second hallway are three obstacles. The first is that for the first 10 feet of the hallway, the floor wasn't solid. If you stepped on this section you fall about 3 feet. The second obstacle was the wizard's ghost guarding the end of this hallway. The third obstacle was the wall of flame right behind the ghost.

Our trip went something like this:
The gnome jumps off the table and runs for the hallway. Falls into the false floor and gets stuck. He calls for help.
The second person jumps off the table and runs for the hallway. Uses the gnome's head as a stepping stone across the false floor as he runs past the ghost and jumps through the wall of flame. Ended his turn at -4HP.
The third person jumps off the table and runs for the hallway. The gnome has escaped the false floor. Person three jumps over the false floor. Both the gnome and person three run past the gnome and jump through the wall of flame. Gnome is now at -9HP (couldn't jump as high, took more damage) and person three is at -3HP.
I jump off the table and ran for the hallway. I jump across the false floor, run past the ghost and jump through the flames. I am at 0HP.
My companions are lying all around me, mostly well done, although the gnome is extra crispy. I force-feed the gnome a healing potion to stabilize him. *rolls for HP healed. rolls a 2* The gnome is now at -6HP. Luckily the next room in the hallway had a bed. With our one and only healing potion used up I manage to cram everyone else onto the bed and convince the DM that they should get the extra HP per day of healing for bed rest because the entry doesn't say anything about how many nearly dead bodies you can pile onto a bed before the bed loses any extra healing ability. We sleep for a week to regain HP. Thankfully no wandering monsters disturb us.

Now here's the way this encounter was supposed to go. You guys have 4 mages in the party. You were actually supposed to fight the fireballs/ghost with your magic. The ghost was guarding a ring of fire resistance that should have been used to safely traverse the wall of fire.

Afterwards we found out that the other three groups that had gone through this adventure had used nearly their full 4 hours. We made it through in a little over two hours thanks to our policy of charging headlong into everything except the rat swarm which was quickly dealt with by a combo of grease, burning hands and a hastily shut door. :x

#37
SirPetrakus

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You guys might need to pair up with Odysseas, he'll really complement your group. Or kill it. Either way, guaranteed fun!

OK, here's a little funny story. Years ago I was playing D&D with my older brother and his friends. 2nd edition Dragonlance. We had a real veteran of a DM, but he decided to take a step back for once and let someone else try for a change. So, we're a few levels in and we're walking through this forest or jungle or whatever.

- Suddenly, the birds start leaving the woods and the ground starts shaking. In front of you, a giant lizard like creature appears.
- Wait! Did you just throw us a dinosaur?
- ...yeah!
- Dude! There are no dinosaurs in dragonlance!
- You mean in this particular area of Dragonlance, right?
- Uh, no, I mean there are no dinosaurs in dragonlance.
- ... OK then, the lizard like creature blinks his eyes and realizes he shouldn't be there. He turns around and get lost in the woods, never to be seen or heard of again. The birds return to their trees and all is well in the world!

#38
Walsingham

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I am totally changing my company motto to: "Let's do something stupid"

#39
Magister Lajciak

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I am totally changing my company motto to: "Let's do something stupid"


Many financial companies did just that! :ermm:

#40
SirPetrakus

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I am totally changing my company motto to: "Let's do something stupid"


Many financial companies did just that! :sorcerer:


Thank God it worked fine with Enron.

Oh, wait!




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